A few one-liners for the forum's consumption...

So I decided to try a bit o' stand-up recently and it's all going rather swimmingly. I thought I'd share a few of my gags with the forum...

I loved growing up. I used to walk around with this little kid hanging to the back of my coat every time I went out. Ah, my child-hood.

Every year on sportsday I'd enter the piggy-back race on my own, every year I'd win. Sometime it's all in the way you carry yourself.

So I told him, I said: 'Doc, I think I have a problem with sincerity'. He said 'you can't be serious?'

Is that my mate Gary from the Reverse Rambling society? Ah, we go back a long way together.

My mate keeps on bangin on about how he's shaggin a Roman goddess. He's getting on minerva.

Right then, I gotta go. I'm off to the barbers to get my hair done like Bob Marley. I'm dreading it.

All criticism gladly accepted...

Hey Stu,

glad to hear the Stand-up's going well.

I liked the one-liners, especially the Minerva one. The Bob Marley one might be a bit obvious, but if you're getting a laugh that's all that matters!

Quote: Stu R @ October 7 2009, 12:29 AM BST

Is that my mate Gary from the Reverse Rambling society? Ah, we go back a long way together.

Right then, I gotta go. I'm off to the barbers to get my hair done like Bob Marley. I'm dreading it.

View original

These are great! The Minerva one went over my head a bit.

i'm still groaning at the Bob marley one- but in a really good way.

I would cut any jokes about Roman goddesses unless you are performing to Frasier adn Niles Crane.

More jokes about Roman goddesses!

Some good stuff there.

The child-hood one needs rejigging I think. Sometimes you need the word you're punning on up front.

I had a great child-hood - but I did get some odd stares at having that little kid hanging from the back of my coat, so I had to get a normal hood instead.

And I think the 'you can't be serious' joke is a pretty old one isn't it? Like, "My doctor told me I had hypochondria and I said,'Oh no! Not that as well!'"

My mate's written a sitcom about the Roman God of Corn.

Ceres?

No. Just the pilot.

(Oh. And I liked the Bob Marley one.)

Quote: JohnnyD @ October 7 2009, 5:00 PM BST

My mate's written a sitcom about the Roman God of Corn.

Ceres?

No. Just the pilot.

View original

Now I like that one.

Cheers guys.

'Ceres' - brilliant.

These are great Stu - good luck with the Stand Up.

Not bad at all simple, clean and nice bring a smile as well.

Damn shame there's no more 118 118.

Pretty good Stu, liked them.

Dreading it, brilliant.

It's always good to throw a few quick jokes at people

Thanks again folks. You weren't wrong about the stand-up buzz.

I'd been plotting my debut for over a year now but I think it was the Stand-up thread that pushed me over the edge, so thanks to whoever it was that posted a link to a list of open mic nights in London.

Anyone else out there doing the london open mic circuit?

I think the Marley one is the best by far, because the words work for the gag in the best way. I think you have decent gags with the others but the wording doesn't seem quite right. Either there are too many words or they are in the wrong order, but you will no doubt find out what works live. Well done and good luck!