British Comedy Guide

Comedy fights off Tescoification

Plans for a Tesco superstore in the West Yorkshire town of Holmfirth, home of the BBC comedy series Last of the Summer Wine, have been axed after a campaign by residents and local independent retailers.

It seems that comedy*, in the form of the legacy of Last of the Summer Wine, and the tourist trade it props up, has helped to keep Tesco out of Holmfirth, despite the fact that it would have created hundreds of jobs, and let's face it, it's pretty handy having a proper supermarket if you're an average person.

http://www.retail-week.com/property/tesco-retreats-from-holmfirth-superstore-plan/5006817.article

*product may contain up to 100% comedy substitute

Del boy's mates failed to stop the Tesco Express in Rye Lane, Peckham!

Quote: "Hmmmm so Peckham has on it's doorstep 2 Tesco Express"

http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?5,298117,301135

Where I live there has been a war between Tesco and some of the locals that has been raging for over thirteen years and it's still going on.

Tesco does not create jobs. It closes down competition, so that jobs are lost. The net job gain is zero. And Tesco is a bloody awful place to work.

I opened up many of the express stores in London and often had residents filming our deliveries and genuine upset of places like Kew gardens losing it's village feel and becoming a standard high street with Tesco's and Starbucks.

They were very crafty about securing convience stores of less than 2,500sq ft as they have different planning laws and couldn't be stopped or even slowed down the way out of town superstores could be by local authorities.

Give £500 to some local charity on open day and the offer of a few new jobs (that are never recruited locally) and what's the harm eh?

Quote: Timbo @ October 2 2009, 9:50 AM BST

Tesco does not create jobs. It closes down competition, so that jobs are lost. The net job gain is zero. And Tesco is a bloody awful place to work.

Complete agreement

British villagers resist progress! Last of the Summer Wine statues to be erected in village square to celebrate the finest television achievement of the BBC ever! We Don't Want You as a New Recruit sing village people!

Said one local 'Tesco? More like SkyNet! If we allow modern consumer shopping into our inbred nesting ground, what next? I'll tell ya what's next, Terminators, cyborgs programmed to wipe out humanity, that's what next.'

Said another local 'Tesco is literally taking a shit in Compo's grave, literally.'

Whereas another local we made up states 'Tesco is from the city, they might bring city folk here. We don't like darkies.'

Have your say and press the red button. Will the Tesco corporation take over the Earth and force us to be it's half price slaves? Or are villages full of Satanic paedophiles that don't want the light of society shone in their direction? Let us know.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ October 2 2009, 11:51 AM BST

British villagers resist progress! Last of the Summer Wine statues to be erected in village square to celebrate the finest television achievement of the BBC ever! We Don't Want You as a New Recruit sing village people!

Said one local 'Tesco? More like SkyNet! If we allow modern consumer shopping into our inbred nesting ground, what next? I'll tell ya what's next, Terminators, cyborgs programmed to wipe out humanity, that's what next.'

Said another local 'Tesco is literally taking a shit in Compo's grave, literally.'

Whereas another local we made up states 'Tesco is from the city, they might bring city folk here. We don't like darkies.'

Have your say and press the red button. Will the Tesco corporation take over the Earth and force us to be it's half price slaves? Or are villages full of Satanic paedophiles that don't want the light of society shone in their direction? Let us know.

Yes to both of those last points.

Is Mandelson a cyborg?

Quote: Marc P @ October 2 2009, 8:11 AM BST

Where I live there has been a war between Tesco and some of the locals that has been raging for over thirteen years and it's still going on.

Sounds like Ashtead.

This sounds like the great Wal-Mart in every town debate that rages on here.

Can you still buy ammunition at Wal-Mart in the US, or did they eventually agree to stop selling it after Bowling For Colombine? The idea of being able to buy bullets in the supermarket amazes and appals me, I have to say.

Quote: Tim Walker @ October 3 2009, 1:10 AM BST

Can you still buy ammunition at Wal-Mart in the US, or did they eventually agree to stop selling it after Bowling For Colombine? The idea of being able to buy bullets in the supermarket amazes and appals me, I have to say.

It's a load of crap really. Yes, you can still buy it in some areas. It became a state to state issue, as in still sell it in the states that want it so we don't piss off the idiots. :D

As a cashier, I would often ring out condoms, bullets, beef jerky and deodorant.
I knew I needed a new job when this didn't phase me at all. :(

Quote: AndreaLynne @ October 3 2009, 1:15 AM BST

As a cashier, I would often ring out condoms, bullets, beef jerky and deodorant.

All the ingredients required in preparation for a first date.

Quote: Tim Walker @ October 3 2009, 1:18 AM BST

All the ingredients required in preparation for a first date.

I forgot tube socks. :P

Lovey

Laughing out loud

I've only ever ran into the tube socks down the pants trick once. I was so relieved. I was afraid he had a hernia or something.

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