Quote: Marooned @ September 10 2009, 9:02 PM BSTI have quite a lot of jokes written down that I think are funny but I haven't got the confidence or the skills to be a stand-up comedian and perform them myself, how could I advertise my writing services to potential buyers?
Quote: Morrace @ September 25 2009, 1:50 PM BST
Competition, eh?
I wrote this one with my Dad in mind:
I once yelled at a telemarketer for calling me on my private number, the next day I get a call from the same person asking if I'd be interested in anger management classes.
Quote: Marooned @ September 26 2009, 2:31 PM BSTI once yelled at a telemarketer for calling me on my private number, the next day I get a call from the same person asking if I'd be interested in anger management classes.
I'll have two of those please!
Quote: Morrace @ September 26 2009, 8:49 PM BST
I'll have two of those please!
Wow, have I actually achieved what I thought was unachievable? Have I written a non-subjectively funny gag finally?
Quote: Marooned @ September 26 2009, 9:27 PM BSTHave I written a non-subjectively funny gag finally?
If you have, it'd be the world's first. No joke can be non-subjective. But that was your first joke that didn't need a novel to make sense of it.
Quote: SlagA @ September 27 2009, 11:31 AM BSTIf you have, it'd be the world's first. No joke can be non-subjective. But that was your first joke that didn't need a novel to make sense of it.
That joke was non-subjective because it was written from my Dad's point of view.
But... that's what subjective means.
Good joke though marooned.
Quote: Stan Doubt @ September 27 2009, 7:12 PM BSTBut... that's what subjective means.
Good joke though marooned.
Thanks for the compliment.
I know what subjective means but...I...argghhh, my brain.
I've written another joke which I'm really pleased with but I'm afraid to post it anywhere as it could be construed as offensive...
This isn't the one, but...
People are always surprised that I have Eurotrance music as my ringtone. So am I, it's meant to be Wagner.
Do the offensive one.
Quote: Marooned @ September 27 2009, 9:32 PM BSTPeople are always surprised that I have Eurotrance music as my ringtone. So am I, it's meant to be Wagner.
Quote: Marooned @ September 28 2009, 10:19 AM BSTYou're just taking the peas now, I think the Ringtone joke is a good'un.
No I'm not, honest. I literally have no idea why that is meant to be funny. Sorry. 
Quote: Marooned @ September 28 2009, 10:19 AM BSTApparently neo-Yuppies are just Yuppies who can't afford phones. So does that mean neo-Nazis can't afford Jews?
Neither funny nor logical, I'm afraid.
Quote: Tim Walker @ September 28 2009, 10:26 AM BSTNo I'm not, honest. I literally have no idea why that is meant to be funny. Sorry.
It's a comic slight on ringtones that sound nothing like they're supposed to.
Neither funny nor logical, I'm afraid.
Damn, I thought I had it there.
The joke does work if you say:
"Ringtones sound nothing like they're supposed to. People are always surprised that I have Eurotrance music as my ringtone. So am I, it's meant to be Wagner."
But if you do it in a routine I think you'd have to also have to include a joke about how if people are stupid enough to sign up to a years' subscription to text messages just to get a ringtone (isn't that the deal that's advertised on MTV every five seconds?), then they probably don't want particularly challenging ring tones and wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Or some such.
I haven't heard the neo-yuppie thing (surely everyone can afford phones unless you're on benefits?) so it didn't work for me...
Plus, I'm pretty sure the Nazis didn't pay for Jews.