I don't know because the lights are on but you're not home.
Quote: Nigel Kelly @ December 10 2008, 6:48 PM GMTI don't know who?
This is the most protracted joke ever.
I know. Humour me.
Terrible jokes Page 15
Quote: oldcowgrazing @ December 10 2008, 6:49 PM GMTI don't know because the lights are on but you're not home.
Maybe I live on an airstrip? Did you even once consider the possibility of that? And I could have been taking a dump behind a plane when you called.
Well I did consider that but you still heard me. Which begs the question: if Nigel takes a dump on an empty airstrip and no ones there, does it make a sound?
Quote: oldcowgrazing @ December 10 2008, 6:57 PM GMTWell I did consider that but you still heard me. Which begs the question: if Nigel takes a dump on an empty airstrip and no ones there, does it make a sound?
Plop.
Anyway,
What's seven foot tall and lives on junk food? A Crouch potato.
What did the Cuban say to the tourist?
Are you havana good time?
What's Silly Billy and Willy Nilly's ideal night out? A boogie woogie and some rumpy pumpy with Hoity Toity.
I got a new key cut… it makes me look like a surfer.
Quote: Nigel Kelly @ December 10 2008, 7:02 PM GMTI got a new key cut… it makes me look like a surfer.
>_< Eh? I don't get that.
Quote: oldcowgrazing @ December 10 2008, 7:06 PM GMT>_< Eh? I don't get that.
Newquay? where surfer dudes hang out? Probably better if a comedian read it out. Actually, maybe not.
Oh now I get it.
Quote: Ned1984 @ December 9 2008, 9:51 PM GMTI entered a premature elaculation competiton. I came first and second.
What do you call a gay Hutt?
Stabba the Butt.
Where do chickens go on their holidays?
Australia
2 young lads are in hospital waiting to have operations, 1st lad says "I'm in to get my tonsils out." 2nd lad replies "I had that done a couple of years ago, you'll be fine in a couple of days. I'm here to be circumcised." The 2nd boy looks at him in horror and says "Good luck with that buddy, I had that done when I was born and couldn't walk for a year."
The other day a bloke offered me a go on his ice rink for 10p.
I thought, "What a f**king cheap skate".
10 reasons why men are lazy
1)
Sculpture for dummies. Lesson 1: Sculpting an elephant. Get a huge slab of marble and cut away the bits that don't look like an elephant.
How to catch a white elephant.
Hide in a tree with a raisin muffin, it must be raisin. When the white elephant approaches drop it on the ground and the elephant will eat it. Do this for the next 5 days, remember it must be a raisin muffin. On the sixth day bring an ordinary muffin, when the elephant eats it and realises there are no raisins in it, the white elephant will turn grey. Now catch it like you would catch a grey elephant.
Why isn't Jayz a hole in the ground?
He's got 99 problems being a ditch ain't one.