You 'grassed' too then I take it? 
Dog Rape Page 3
Nope. Did occur to me, but by that time you'd already done it. Merely a bit embarrassed that I forgot to thank you as well as zooo. 
I like the way Tim comes in here now.
What, rarely?
I've seen you here twice in a month!
Quote: zooo @ September 26 2009, 6:02 PM BSTHa. I thought it was quite sweet how he at least tried to find an appropriately named thread on which to post his porn spam links.
Porn spam? Is that pink wobbly meat?
Quote: Ben @ September 26 2009, 7:56 PM BSTI've seen you here twice in a month!
So? Honestly, you sound just like the bloke who runs the sex shop! And who is he to judge me anyway? 
Quote: Tim Walker @ September 26 2009, 8:08 PM BSTSo? Honestly, you sound just like the bloke who runs the sex shop! And who is he to judge me anyway?
Really?....
Quote: Ben @ September 26 2009, 7:53 PM BSTI like the way Tim comes in here now.
Do you like to try before you buy Tim?
Never mind the f**king chit chat, let's have another dog rape sketch with plenty of tazering.
Quote: Chris Forshaw @ September 16 2009, 12:49 AM BSTThis is one I did a while ago and I can't quite make it right. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
EXT. STREET - DAY
A news reporter is slowly walking down the street.
REPORTER
New laws introduced by the government this week mean that the frivolous sex lives of man's best friend, the dog, will finally come to an end.Cut to. Some statistics over an image of two dogs humping.
REPORTER V/O
These laws make sex without consent a criminal offence for dogs much the same as it is for humans. Also, acts such as leg humping are now considered to be sexual harassment.Cut back to the street. The reporter is stood with a woman.
REPORTER V/O
We hit the streets to find out what you think of these new laws.WOMAN
Well I think its about bloody time! Those dirty dogs were going around humping everything without a care in the world! Hopefully this will let them know we aren't going to put up with it any more!We hear female screams from across the road.
REPORTER
What's going on over there?WOMAN
Oh my god!The camera shakily swings round and focuses in on a woman with a jack russell humping her leg. She is very distraught and her clothes are dirty and tattered.
RAPE WOMAN
FIRE!!! FIRE!!!!A policeman comes charging over and stops a short distance from the woman. He aims his tazer at the dog.
POLICEMAN
Down boy!The policeman fires his tazer and we hear tazing noises and dog whines.
NEW VERSION
INT. NEWS STUDIO - DAY
A reporter is sat behind a desk.
REPORTER
Our main story tonight. Amateur footage of the arrest of one of Britain's most notorious rapists has been released by police today. The footage shows the criminal taking one final stand before being subdued by officers. This video contains scenes which some may find disturbing.Cut to. Shaky mobile phone footage. A gang of lads walking down the street messing about. We hear female screams from across the road.
LAD1
What's going on over there?LAD2
Oh my god!The camera shakily swings round and focuses in on a woman with a jack russell humping her leg. She is very distraught and her clothes are dirty and tattered.
RAPE WOMAN
FIRE!!! FIRE!!!!A policeman comes charging over and stops a short distance from the woman. He aims his tazer at the dog.
POLICEMAN
Down boy!The policeman fires his tazer and we hear tazing noises and dog whines.
Cut to. Studio.
REPORTER
Spanky is expected to be sentenced later this month.
Brought to my attention by SpiderNugent! (other 'Rape' sketch)
https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/15223
I liked the idea, although I prefer the second one. Maybe lead us to believe the gang of lads are responsible? Also, I think you could take it further, say, to court or mention of the 'High Security Unit' at Battersea Dogs Home. E.G.
"You may be a big-bollocked Rottweiler, sunshine - but if you get banged up there, you'll end up as some Pit Bull Terrier's bitch!"