British Comedy Guide

Chat Up Lines Page 31

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 23 2009, 9:34 PM BST

Okay, I'm going to type this slowly so there is no misunderstanding of what I'm trying to put across -

Ladies - if you show off lots of naked boobie flesh, men are going to stare. I know it might seem a strange and unusual concept for you to take in, but it is a stone cold fact.

If you don't want men to stare at your naked boobie flesh, don't wear low cut or revealing tops.

You can moan, complain, act shocked, talk to other women and shake your head in utter disbelief - but it's like that...and that's the way it is...Hur!

Here endeth the lesson.

I think you mean some men, mainly of the desperate kind. :)

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ September 23 2009, 9:37 PM BST

I think you mean some men, mainly of the desperate kind. :)

No, I mean all men, including the gay ones - but they usually spoil it by adding a bitchy comment. :P

Even when it's a 95 year old woman with mega saggy bewbies and liver spots and wrinkles and veins - Sick - we will still have a look. We'll feel a bit ill and disgusted, but we'll have a look.

We are men and we like looking at stuff.

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ September 23 2009, 9:37 PM BST

I think you mean some men, mainly of the desperate kind. :)

Declined Eyeline Syndrome

Not the best sketch I have ever written, but I stand by the medical opinion in scene four.

I remember that sketch.
It's funny cos it's true.

I think if you're the sort of guy who does this you have to ask yourself does this approach work with women and what sort of women do you actually get to shag/go out with? :D

If you're happy with your situation then fair enough, but if you can't stop looking and making it obvious you only have yourself to blame for a lack of love/sex life. Harsh, but true.

We need more women sticking up for each other instead of slagging each other off to impress the boys. :(

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 23 2009, 9:44 PM BST

No, I mean all men, including the gay ones

That is so true, one my best friends, Will, is totally obsessed by boobies, he's always trying to cop a feel, and he's a big gay bear.

Quote: AngieBaby @ September 23 2009, 9:57 PM BST

That is so true, one my best friends, Will, is totally obsessed by boobies, he's always trying to cop a feel, and he's a big gay bear.

Perhaps he's faking? My gay friends have never done that - even the lesbians!

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ September 23 2009, 9:56 PM BST

I think if you're the sort of guy who does this you have to ask yourself does this approach work with women and what sort of women do you actually get to shag/go out with? :D

If you're happy with your situation then fair enough, but if you can't stop looking and making it obvious you only have yourself to blame for a lack of love/sex life. Harsh, but true.

I agree with Dolly.
If it's a stranger then look all you like.
If it's someone you want to get your leg over with then you need to be a bit more sensitive & pretend that you aren't looking.

;) :D

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ September 23 2009, 9:56 PM BST

We need more women stiucking up for each other instead of slagging each other off to impress the boys. :(

If you want the best mate, then you have to compete. It's called nature.

And to be fair, if I looked like Daniel Craig, it wouldn't matter how badly I treated women or how often I stared at their bits and pieces, I'd still be getting a slice. Then again, my only chat up line be 'Hi I'm Daniel Craig.'

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ September 23 2009, 10:00 PM BST

I agree with Dolly.
If it's a stranger then look all you like.
If it's someone you want to get your leg over with then you need to be a bit more sensitive & pretend that you aren't looking.

;) :D

Laughing out loud You crack me Stevie Sunnyshine

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 23 2009, 9:34 PM BST

Ladies - if you show off lots of naked boobie flesh, men are going to stare.

Yes, but that doesn't necessarily mean the women are dressing like that for the purpose of attracting men (although doubtless they often are). It's a bit different for men, although I know that when I wear certain unusual clothes to the school, my eldest daughter will complain that I'm embarrassing her. I could stop embarrassing her by wearing other clothes, but why shouldn't I just wear what I want? I'm not wearing them for the purpose of embarrassing her, and I don't want her to be embarrassed, but ultimately I want to wear what I want, not what suits other people.

I think it would be useful to have 'naked days' now and again, for people to get used to seeing nudity a bit more. We know that everyone is naked under their clothes, but it comes as a shock for a lot of us to actually see this.

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ September 23 2009, 10:00 PM BST

I agree with Dolly.
If it's a stranger then look all you like.
If it's someone you want to get your leg over with then you need to be a bit more sensitive & pretend that you aren't looking.

;) :D

I've noticed that women seem to be a lot more adept at looking at men indirectly, whilst men tend to stare openly. It's as if they are very good at pretending to not look. However, I'm not sure I want to pretend; just so long as I smile disarmingly enough, why not be more obvious?

Daniel Craig's not exactly a looker. It's only 'cos he's famous.

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ September 23 2009, 9:56 PM BST

We need more women sticking up for each other instead of slagging each other off to impress the boys. :(

That's not what everyone's doing who disagrees with you, Dolly.

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ September 23 2009, 9:59 PM BST

Perhaps he's faking?

A friend of mine who is gay - and who could proffer several hundred lurid testimonials to the fact - is very much a breast man.

It comes down to instinct. The theory goes that when humans began walking upright the sexual organs ceased to be on display, so pert breasts evolved as a secondary sexual characteristic for the purpose of attracting mates.

What did men evolve to attract mates?
A debonair moustache?

How do the women here go about chatting men up? Or do they just let the men do all the work?

I've never done that whole 'going out to find a new boyfriend/shag' thing.
I always end up with boys who I've hung around with as a friend first.

So, I wouldn't know how to chat someone up. :)

Share this page