British Comedy Guide

Chat Up Lines Page 28

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 22 2009, 10:32 PM BST

Don't worry BCG Ladies, Renegade Carpark has come up with a way for you to be in a room full of drunken men and not get stared at - The World Cup 2010! That's right girls, head down to any pub when the England match is on and try to get the men to look at you.

And when it comes to the World Cup ,I will be wearing my Abaya to support Saudi, my Lion skin to support South Africa and my g-string and and tight t-shirt to support England.

Alas my kilt will be in moth balls ...

Thanks to the lovely ladettes of the BCG, I've come up with my appropriate chat up line -

'Hello. I have not been staring at you from across the room and I was wondering if it would be alright if I could buy you a drink? Your clothing is in no way sexually provocative, unless you want it to be, but it doesn't mean you are available, I am hoping you are available so I can buy you a drink, but if you are not, then that it okay also. Can I state now and for the record that I do not plan to rape you or stare lustfully at your body and the thought of having sex with you is the last thing on my mind. If you are uncomfortable with your body image, I can put a bag over my head and we can communicate through the medium of text messaging only. By the way, I think it's terrible how men in society label and belittle women...'

'Shit, she's snogging the tattooed chav who was kicking the fruit machine.'

F**k it, I don't even give a toss anymore. I was only trying to help the boys on here get girlfriends.

Anyway Early Doors is on soon.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 22 2009, 11:17 PM BST

Thanks to the lovely ladettes of the BCG, I've come up with my appropriate chat up line -

'Hello. I have not been staring at you from across the room and I was wondering if it would be alright if I could buy you a drink? Your clothing is in no way sexually provocative, unless you want it to be, but it doesn't mean you are available, I am hoping you are available so I can buy you a drink, but if you are not, then that it okay also. Can I state now and for the record that I do not plan to rape you or stare lustfully at your body and the thought of having sex with you is the last thing on my mind. If you are uncomfortable with your body image, I can put a bag over my head and we can communicate through the medium of text messaging only. By the way, I think it's terrible how men in society label and belittle women...'

'Shit, she's snogging the tattooed chav who was kicking the fruit machine.'

Just let us do the chatting up, okay?

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ September 22 2009, 11:15 PM BST

Then I still don't understand what everyone was saying!

I think I've summarised peoples' arguments. :)

Quote: Aaron @ September 22 2009, 11:18 PM BST

I think I've summarised peoples' arguments. :)

Who won? :D

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ September 22 2009, 11:21 PM BST

Who won? :D

We're all winners in the end

*shoots himself*

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ September 22 2009, 11:15 PM BST

Then I still don't understand what everyone was saying!

Oh come on Dolly, we're only having a bit of fun about the differences between men and women. I love the ladies and try to treat them with respect in the real world.

You've made comments from your point of view and stated them as absolute facts, others have disagreed with you. It is a discussion.

I hope that you did not take any of it personally, as I don't think that was the intention of anyone.

We're all friends here. Hug <3 Hug <3

Quote: AngieBaby @ September 22 2009, 11:17 PM BST

And when it comes to the World Cup ,I will be wearing my Abaya to support Saudi, my Lion skin to support South Africa and my g-string and and tight t-shirt to support England.

Alas my kilt will be in moth balls ...

Good to hear it Angie. Though I hope that's imitation lion skin.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 22 2009, 11:22 PM BST

Oh come on Dolly, we're only having a bit of fun about the differences between men and women. I love the ladies and try to treat them with respect in the real world.

You've made comments from your point of view and stated them as absolute facts, others have disagreed with you. It is a discussion.

I hope that you did not take any of it personally, as I don't think that was the intention of anyone.

We're all friends here. Hug <3 Hug <3

I was nearly raped and everyone joked about it. Teary

He was a horrible big fat man too. And I gave him a good kicking before running away. :D

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ September 22 2009, 11:18 PM BST

I was only trying to help the boys on here get girlfriends.

Having met a few of them, I think the BCG boys will be alright.

They've all got the patter!

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ September 22 2009, 11:25 PM BST

I was nearly raped and everyone joked about it. Teary

He was a horrible big fat man too. And I gave him a good kicking before running away. :D

No way! No way anyone laughed at that. We are still human.

I agree with what Aaron said.

The bottom line for me is that as a bloke you will look at women no matter what they're wearing. If they're wearing something more "provocative" or "revealing" then odds-on they'll catch the eye more. However, I think most of us know the difference between a "look" and a "leer". It's rather (heterosexual) human nature to subtly check-out those of the opposite sex around one, but I think most of us are fully aware of where the social boundaries lie. The simple advice is not to do anything that you might reasonably expect might cause another person discomfort. :)

Quote: Moonstone @ September 22 2009, 11:28 PM BST

No way! No way anyone laughed at that. We are still human.

Laughing out loud I was joking!

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ September 22 2009, 11:29 PM BST

Laughing out loud I was joking!

Pheeeeewwww lol! Panicked a bit there!

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ September 22 2009, 11:25 PM BST

I was nearly raped and everyone joked about it. Teary

He was a horrible big fat man too. And I gave him a good kicking before running away. :D

Jokes about rape are quite horrible and tasteless, which is probably why they are so popular on this forum. I don't think anyone was making a joke about you personally nearly being raped.

I lost my flat this year due to the credit crunch, but I don't let it get in the way of making homeless and poor jokes. Because one is real life and the other is an Internet Forum.

I am very pleased you fended off your attacker and I understand if you have been weary of men since.

But I come on here to crack the funnies and almost anything is fair game. The battle of the sexes is usally my best subject and if you can't stand the heat, get back in the kitchen and make my dinner. :P

Quote: Tim Walker @ September 22 2009, 11:29 PM BST

I agree with what Aaron said.

It's a slippery slope!

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