I was watching the news this week and heard two snippets which made me scratch my head in disbelief.
Quote 1 - The woman with MS campaigning for changes in the law over assisted suicide said 'This is a new lease on life'. 
Quote 2 - The curvy model on the catwalk at London Fashion Week said 'Plus size models are causing a ripple effect'.
Anyone have any other corkers?
No. 
'Booze Therapy may be good for brain injury'
(today's News 24 online)
Thief Fingered by Victim In Police Line-up.
A newspaper headline from a few years back I always liked was "POLICE OFFICERS LOOKING FOR RAPE VICTIM".
'Clashes as police enter Calais camp'
I always suspected French cops were gay
Plane Crash, 43 dead: "Something went wrong" says expert.
I always like the David Vine one during the ladies weight lifting and he said the contestant had a massive snatch.
My favourite from our local paper stated: "County Leaders Upset on News That Hooker Will Take on New Position."
A nun in the audience in a Kilroy debate about inappropriate TV content complained that she was 'fed up with having sex rammed down her throat.'
Just search 'Scatterbrained Floozy'. 
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ September 22 2009, 3:18 PM BSTI always like the David Vine one during the ladies weight lifting and he said the contestant had a massive snatch.
Was that something like:
'I saw her snatch this morning and it was very impressive'?
Didn't David Coleman say once that 'Linford Christie opened his legs, and showed us his class!' too?
Dan
I love it on game shows when someone fails to win the jackpot and the host always says 'Did you enjoy yourself?'
I wish just once, the contestant would turn around and go 'Yes, it was f**king great to lose £50,000 and look like a tit on national television. I can't wait to get back to my shitty job and have the piss taken out of me constantly by co-workers.'
Coleman Balls they used to call his more unfortunate quotes.
My fave still dates from 1942: British push bottles up Germans.