I'm bored, here is a sketch.
[Grainy footage of President Kennedy's motorcade travelling along the streets of Texas. Kennedy and his wife are smiling and waving to the assembled throng.]
VO:
On 22 November 1963 in Fort Worth Texas, Lee Harvey Oswald assassinated President John F. Kennedy...
[Lee Harvey Oswald is in the Book Depository building holding a rifle and looking agitated]
VO:
...but what a lot of people didn't know...is that Lee Harvey Oswald was twenty five percent Austrailian.
[Jungle Boogie plays in the background, Lee Harvey Oswald looks to camera, smiles and takes a swig out of a can of Fosters. He fires his rifle out of the window several times and then drinks more Fosters and does a little dance.]
VO:
Unfortunately for Lee...
[Lee Harvey Oswald is in handcuffs and being led away by police as pressmen take his photograph. He is smiling and wearing a Fosters t-shirt. Jack Ruby appraoches.}
VO:
...Jack Ruby was one hundred percent Mafia.
[Jack Ruby shoots Oswald dead}
VO:
Fosters Lager - Get some Austrailian in you.
[quick flash of two men wearing hats with corks on them holding rifles on the grassy gnoll and clinking their cans of Fosters together and smiling.]
THE END
Good stuff.