Sounds like he should be locked up!
With a good supply of things he can shove up his arse, obviously. I'm not inhumane.
Chat Up Lines Page 11
Quote: zooo @ September 22 2009, 1:15 AM BSTSounds like he should be locked up!
With a good supply of things he can shove up his arse, obviously. I'm not inhumane.
obviously.
Quote: Ben @ April 12 2008, 2:42 PM BSTI'm so suave that all I have to do is walk up to a girl and say "What's cookin' good lookin'?" and they're mine.
You ought to flip that avatar horizontally so that you look INTO the conversation, instead of looking totally uninterested.
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Long ago there was a girl at work who was in-between flats. She had given one up and was waiting to move into another.
So she stayed in my spare room for a few days, even though my 'digs' at the time were rather grotty & cold.
One evening I left a note on her pillow:
Buckle on a chastity belt and come keep warm with me!
It worked she arrived laughing, at my bed, and we had a nice warm night.. 
What I'd like to know is, what sort of opening 'lines' do girls prefer to be offered, presuming they fancy the guy? Or perhaps, what should the guy avoid saying, to make sure he doesn't spoil things?
Quote: Nogget @ September 22 2009, 9:24 AM BSTWhat I'd like to know is, what sort of opening 'lines' do girls prefer to be offered, presuming they fancy the guy? Or perhaps, what should the guy avoid saying, to make sure he doesn't spoil things?
Remember on most of the occasions that you will be trying to find a lady she will be out with her mates trying to have a good time and a bit of a laugh. The smooth operator rarely is all that successful in my experience. Instead start with a cheesy comic line to get a laugh. That gets you 'in' but doesn't get you laid, so you better make sure that you can pull something else from your pocket to impress her with, and that should never be cheesy >_<
Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ September 21 2009, 11:44 PM BSTIt wasn't the stroke bit that reminded me of it, it was the gag reflex bit. I have a friend who is a nurse who tells me these stories and I'm never sure if they are true or not but I really hope so! I'll try and remember it right...
One night in A&E they brought in a naked man and a naked woman. The woman had a serious head wound and the man was screaming in agony and bleeding from his Mr Happytime and both needed serious attention. When asked what happened the man explain that his wife and him were having sex in the kitchen and she was giving him oral when suddenly she had a epileptic fit and her jaw slam tight shut on his penis. She was moving so much, he was in pain and in fear of having his knob bitten off so he panics and grabbed a saucepan from the kitchen sink and smashed her over the head until she let go!
Oh the romance!
I have heard this story before
still makes me wince though.
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ September 22 2009, 9:38 AM BSTI have heard this story before
still makes me wince though.
Is it an urban myth, like the bus ticket and smear test? I've had two different people tell me that happened to a friend of theirs.
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ September 22 2009, 9:40 AM BSTIs it an urban myth, like the bus ticket and smear test? I've had two different people tell me that happened to a friend of theirs.
I think it must be.
I tried to start some urban myths. One was about Rolf Harris and a mental home.
What are the Bus Ticket & the Smear stories?
Or is it one story?
Women get's on what she thinks is a bus outside the hospital and then...
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ September 22 2009, 10:09 AM BSTWhat are the Bus Ticket & the Smear stories?
Or is it one story?
Women get's on what she thinks is a bus outside the hospital and then...
It's something like a friend of a friend went for a smear test, went to the loo before, there was no paper, so used a tissue from her bag, had a smear and the doctor retrieves a bus ticket which was in her handbag. I don't know what that says about the woman involved, apart from having an untidy handbag. At least it wasn't an Oyster card I suppose...
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ September 22 2009, 9:45 AM BSTI think it must be.
I've also heard the epilepsy-frying pan story a few times. Snopes calls it a legend: http://www.snopes.com/risque/penile/bitten.asp (although I've been called wrong on snopes before).
I used to go out with a girl who was an epileptic. Medication kept her seizures mostly under control and always limited to during sleep.
Quote: Kenneth @ September 22 2009, 11:03 AM BSTI used to go out with a girl who was an epileptic.
Me too.
She was Well/Fit.
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ September 22 2009, 9:38 AM BSTI have heard this story before
still makes me wince though.
As I said, I'm never sure if they are true but damnit, I want them to be!
Quote: Nogget @ September 22 2009, 9:24 AM BSTWhat I'd like to know is, what sort of opening 'lines' do girls prefer to be offered, presuming they fancy the guy? Or perhaps, what should the guy avoid saying, to make sure he doesn't spoil things?
Most girls I think will settle for a "Hello, my name is (Insert name here), can I buy you a drink?" A compliment is nice too. Point out something unusual she is wearing like a piece of jewellery or something. A friend of mine swears by a "Word Sandwich" where they ask a question, comment about the answer, then provide a fact about themselves. For example "What are you from? Oh I went to Margate as a child. I'm from London myself. So what do you do for a living?...". That sounds rather good. Every girl is different but as long as you are yourself, you can weed out the nice ones from the cows and if a girl fancies a guy, she will be made up over the attention you are giving her.
I dunno much about how you can spoil it but one thing I will say is while a lot of guys will see this plain as day, some guys don't get that it's not okay to go up to a girl and start asking about her friend. It can be very hurtful to the girl. And if a girl says thanks but no, just leave it alone, don't try and win her over because she may think you are a pervert when you think you are being romantic plus some girls are nasty and like to put guys down when they come over too eager. 
Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ September 22 2009, 12:16 PM BSTMost girls I think will settle for a "Hello, my name is (Insert name here), can I buy you a drink?" A compliment is nice too.
Hello, my name is Ian, insert it here.
Can I buy you a drink? Your tits are well nice by the way.
Quote: zooo @ September 22 2009, 1:15 AM BSTSounds like he should be locked up!
With a good supply of things he can shove up his arse, obviously. I'm not inhumane.
Whooooooooo?