My ex was one of those types that didn't dazzle me. He just wore me down til I said I'd go on a date with him.
Chat Up Lines Page 7
One of my favourites is "Get ya coat on pet yav pulled" I heard it on "Auf Wiedersegn Pet" spoken by Jimmy Nail, as Oz. Sounds better in a Geordie accent.
Although I have never used it myself.
One from St George's days... "Hello there, I'm a medical student, do you mind if I take your vaginal pulse?". (This amazingly worked once.)
Quote: Tim Walker @ September 20 2009, 6:12 PM BSTOne from St George's days... "Hello there, I'm a medical student, do you mind if I take your vaginal pulse?". (This amazingly worked once.)
Eew. Actually, I have quite a few friends that would've taken that offer. 
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 20 2009, 2:12 PM BSTI know that there are a few ladies on here who dread the chat up lines, but how else are we supposed to initate the courtship? My colourful tail feathers have nearly all gone and my tusks ain't what they used to be.
Hmmm. Let the women initiate 'courtship' instead. Try to be really tall, thin, muscular* and wear cool black shirts - or even purple silk shirts or not-too-gaudy batik shirts - usually with the top buttons undone to show off your chest. Have a good income and investments. And grow your hair long - that way you avoid attracting boringly conservative girls (who might deludedly think they can 'tame' you). I'm not sure whether smoking cigarettes or cigars is still alluring theseadays. Perhaps not. Beards are not good. No need to advise you to be funny, thoughtful, kind, humble and above all - confident. And then be dynamite in the sack. Apart from sex, don't pretend to be perfect. Some women seem to love certain men for their faults and often strive to improve them.
* This can be achieved by sitting in front of the computer all day. (Seriously, just need to do push-ups, sit-ups and a bit of heavy lifting for half an hour each day.)But if you seek a long-term relationship leading to marriage, just find Miss Right and immediately give her half of your life savings and the house in advance. Saves a lot of hassle in being taken to the f**king cleaners and precludes certain other miseries. Failing that, just find a gay guy who shares your taste in TV and turn gay. Simple.
Quote: Kenneth @ September 21 2009, 4:12 AM BSTApart from sex, don't pretend to be perfect. Some women seem to love certain men for their faults and often strive to improve them.
These women are called "Stupid". 
By the way....
Quote: Kenneth @ September 21 2009, 4:12 AM BSTTry to be really tall, thin, muscular* and wear cool black shirts - or even purple silk shirts or not-too-gaudy batik shirts - usually with the top buttons undone to show off your chest. Have a good income and investments.
*Wipes tear from face.*
What women are YOU picking up? Danielle Lloyd?
Look guys, not all women are money grabbing slut bags and the ones that are, they are not worth bothering with so why would you want to pull them in the first place?
Here is an idea. How about saying "Hello"? This amazing word was invented for people to greet each other many years ago and hopefully soon, it will catch on. At the end of the day, if she does shoot you down just for saying hello, she is clearly a bitch then isn't she?
And a hint. If you want advice about women, ASK A WOMAN YOU DOUGHNUTS. Don't get your knowledge from the David Hasslehoff book of cheap lines and lame shirts!
My name is Ruby Mae James, and that was my two pence worth.
Peace and love. 
Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ September 21 2009, 3:46 PM BSTAnd a hint. If you want advice about women, ASK A WOMAN YOU DOUGHNUTS.
Sage advice, because if women want advice about men they always ask another man, don't they? 
(Unless of course they're using their famous female intuition... .)
I ask men. Because I know it works both ways!
I'm the first to admit women can be just as dumb and painful to watch.
Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ September 21 2009, 3:46 PM BSTAnd a hint. If you want advice about women, ASK A WOMAN YOU DOUGHNUTS.
Never ever do this. Women give you the worst advice on attracting other women. Be nice, listen to her, being caring and sympathetic, blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile whilst you're doing this, they're staring lustfully at the tattooed chav kicking the fruit machine.
If I hear one more story along the lines of 'When I first met Gary, I thought he was a bit of a dick and full of himself...', well you get the idea.
If you want to pull chicks, act like a complete arsehole. Every single twat-head I've ever met in my life is always with a long suffering girlfriend.
But fret not if you are a genuinely nice guy, you will still pull the girls, usually damaged ones who will stay with you for a while, but then realise that they are only attracted to drug addicted car theives who like to smack them around a bit.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to write love letters to prisoners on death row.
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 21 2009, 3:56 PM BSTNever ever do this. Women give you the worst advice on attracting other women. Be nice, listen to her, being caring and sympathetic, blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile whilst you're doing this, they're staring lustfully at the tattooed chav kicking the fruit machine.
I meant ask a female friend you trust, not the woman behind the counter at the kebab shop.
If "women's intuition" really existed then there'd be no such thing as "women's refuges". 
This is why I am single. I'm too nice and sensible! Never thought I'd say that.
Plus I like having the whole duvet.
Quote: Tim Walker @ September 21 2009, 3:59 PM BSTIf "women's intuition" really existed then there'd be no such thing as "women's refuges".
Don't tell the girls but I don't really believe in women's intuition. Like a woman really knows more than a man about something. The womb is not a crystal ball!
Why can't men and women live in harmony where we say what we mean, tell each other if something is wrong, and not try to change each other.
It all seems so silly to me.
Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ September 21 2009, 4:08 PM BSTWhy can't men and women live in harmony where we say what we mean, tell each other if something is wrong, and not try to change each other.
Okay, I'll go first: Roo, you annoy me.
ONLY JOKING!!!! 
I think true honesty between men and women would be the death of the human race.
MAN: I'm only attracted to you because of your looks, I care little for your opinions and thoughts. Sometimes I wish you would just shut up.
WOMAN: If you lost your job and all your money, I would dump you like yesterday's garbage. All my friends are having babies, so I want one now, so I can love it and not you.
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 21 2009, 4:16 PM BSTOkay, I'll go first: Roo, you annoy me.
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 21 2009, 4:16 PM BSTYOU SMELL OF WEE!!!!
*Shuffles away heartbroken*
Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ September 21 2009, 4:18 PM BST
*Being a master of mind games, RC realises that by being mean and making Roo cry, she really fancies him now. Cuz chicks are weird.*