GORDON BROWN, NICK CLEGG AND DAVID CAMERON ARE STANDING IN A ROW.
GORDON
We in Labour will fire all unneccesary public sector workers.
NICK
We Liberal Democrats will fire all unneccesary and all neccesary public sector workers.
DAVID
We Conservatives will fire all unneccesary, all neccesary public sector workers. Then we'll rehire them, so we can fire them again.
GORDON
We'll cut all your taxes completely.
NICK
Well the Liberals will cut taxes completely and then we'll sell the Royal family to Disney World so we can give you a tax rebate.
DAVID
The Conservatives will sell all the UK's chavs to Marlboro and Stella for inhumane experiments with fags and lager.
GORDON
Well we in Labour know what real English voters want! We'll sell the whole of the UK to the Japanese and then we'll give everyone in the UK a tax rebate and a dinghy.
NICK
Well we Liberals know what English voters really want. We'll sell everyone in England into slavery in Indian brothels thus raising even more for tax rebates.
DAVID
We Conservatives are the party, that really know what people want. We'll sell the UK to Simon Cowell so he can kill everyone who can't sing and turn the whole country into a giant new super group. After all, cuts is the only thing you want.
NICK
Well isn't it?
