British Comedy Guide

What are you watching on TV? Page 939

Would make a great visual:)

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 19 2009, 2:38 AM BST

I'm watching an advert where a mobile phone company is offering paid actors free texts blowjobs for life.

The reaction to the news of free texts blowjobs range from 'Holy sweet Jesus! With free texts blowjobs I could take over the world!' to 'It would change my existence forever, transcendentally shifting my psychic energy to another realm and I would finally achieve Nirvana and become one with the universe.'

I imagine that if they were offered free emails tromboning for life, their heads would literally explode, showering the pavement with bloody scraps of skull and brain matter.

:)

Thing is, their contract may not cover a botched blowie.

Can I choose between free blowjobs and texts? Because I have a definite preference.

Quote: Jude @ September 19 2009, 2:48 AM BST

Thing is, their contract may not cover a botched blowie.

I am willing to take that risk. Pleased

Quote: DaButt @ September 19 2009, 2:48 AM BST

Can I choose between free blowjobs and texts? Because I have a definite preference.

How about a hands free 1-2-1? I'll let you use my Siemens.

you pay £10 a month for free texts.. when I heard that I remember thinking "that's not free texts then is it, just an indefinite amount for a tenner "

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 19 2009, 2:54 AM BST

How about a hands free 1-2-1? I'll let you use my Siemens.

If I'd wanted to have my hands covered in Siemen I would have joined the Navy.

Quote: Mike T @ September 19 2009, 2:55 AM BST

you pay £10 a month for free texts.. when I heard that I remember thinking "that's not free texts then is it, just an indefinite amount for a tenner "

There is a famous quote from a mobile phone exec which went along the lines of 'text messaging is the closet thing to pure profit that God ever invented.'

Need to get ripped off? There's an App for that as well.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 19 2009, 2:54 AM BST

How about a hands free 1-2-1? I'll let you use my Siemens.

But you'd be buggered if it goes to voice mail.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 19 2009, 3:00 AM BST

Need to get ripped off? There's an App for that as well.

Makes me smile to see people "shaking" their iPhones. Kinda says what we're all thinking about them.

Quote: Leevil @ September 19 2009, 3:04 AM BST

Makes me smile to see people "shaking" their iPhones. Kinda says what we're all thinking about them.

I just wish the advertising was more honest - Stuck on a long train journey and need some porn to wank with in the toilet? There's an App for that.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 19 2009, 3:07 AM BST

I just wish the advertising was more honest - Stuck on a long train journey and need some porn to wank with in the toilet? There's an App for that.

They're so dishonest it's untrue. They phone me up incessantly telling me my contracts running out this month. They wouldn't tell me which month so I hung up. Then they ring trying to sell me more phones so I tell them to f**k off. Then I buy a BlackBerry and it turns out the contract on the other phone don't turn out till next month... so now I have 3 phones and paying a contract for 2 =/

And there seems to be an app for everything...

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 19 2009, 3:00 AM BST

There is a famous quote from a mobile phone exec which went along the lines of 'text messaging is the closet thing to pure profit that God ever invented.'

Text messages are sent in the unused overhead space that the phones and towers are always chattering over. They cost the company nothing and don't affect their bandwidth whatsoever.

I Am Legend.

His poor doggie. :(

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