AN ELVIS TRIBUTE ARTIST ENTERS HIS DRESSING ROOM AFTER A SHOW TO FIND HIS MANAGER WAITING FOR HIM.
ETA: (IN AN ELVIS DRAWL )
Uh Huh huh That was a helluva a show mama, Lord have Mercy. Thank you very murch.
(NORMAL VOICE) just give me a sec Tom, let the spirit leave me... Right, gone! what can I do you for?
MANAGER:
I thought it would be a good time to have a bit of a talk about the whole Elvis Impersonator thing.
ETA :
How many times do I have to tell you! I am not an Elvis Impersonator, I am an Elvis Tribute Artist!
MANAGER:
But that would suggest that you are an artist, and that the things you do are in some way a tribute.
ETA:
Oh, come off it. You saw them out there tonight, I knocked em dead.
MANAGER:
You made them slightly morbid, It's not quite the same thing.
This isn't easy to say Dave, but as your manager I think it's about time that you gave this all up.
ETA:
I can't give it up Tom, it's in my blood (ADOPTS ELVIS STANCE & VOICE) Wooah yeah... That's right!
MANAGER:
I'm just being honest with you. You've done well but now it's time that you cut your losses & quit.
ETA:
Come on, you don't mean that.
MANAGER:
No of course I don't., You haven't done that well at all, but it's definitely time that you cut your losses & quit.
ETA:
Frankly I'm stunned, I cannot believe what I am hearing.
MANAGER:
I'm only saying this because you need to hear it. There are new guys out there, they can sing, they can dance, I don't think you can compete with that sort of Adequacy.
ETA:
I bet they don't have suits like this one.
MANAGER:
If you mean suits hand knitted by their mother, then I'd have to agree with you., but they make up for that sort of thing by being a lot better than you at what you do.
ETA:
So, spit it out then! Are you ditching me or what?
MANAGER:
Not Necessarily.
ETA::
So what could I do If I didn't do Elvis?
MANAGER:
What about reality TV, they cater for people of your abilities.
ETA: (BRIGHTENING UP)
Are you talking X Factor?. I like what you're saying.
MANAGER:
Unfortunately you are neither good enough nor bad enough for that show at this time in your career.
ETA:
Please don't say Britains got Talent.
MANAGER:
You get the juggling balls, I'll get the puppy.
END
