British Comedy Guide

General, General Thread Page 2,012

I have no idea! it just got stuck in the top of his head as he jumped into the van and then (I'm sorry I'm laughing as I write this) he didn't feel a thing and then he turned to talk to his employee sitting in the passenger seat, thus causing the big curve. It was his assistant that pointed out to him the sun visor had sliced down to his skull and was now bleeding!

That's insane! They need to not make sun visors out of glass and knives anymore.

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ September 17 2009, 9:26 AM BST

I have no idea! it just got stuck in the top of his head as he jumped into the van and then (I'm sorry I'm laughing as I write this) he didn't feel a thing and then he turned to talk to his employee sitting in the passenger seat, thus causing the big curve. It was his assistant that pointed out to him the sun visor had sliced down to his skull and was now bleeding!

He must be made of tissue paper. No offence intended :P

Quote: Gavin @ September 17 2009, 9:42 AM BST

He must be made of tissue paper. No offence intended :P

It's weird, he's a really big bloke, ex-door man and martial arts competitor. :S

Perhaps there was Kryptonite in the visor.

Quote: Gavin @ September 17 2009, 9:48 AM BST

Perhaps there was Kryptonite in the visor.

Laughing out loud

The choice of words in this news report made me laugh:

An Australian psychologist had to be rescued from her office after a "frantic" kangaroo crashed through the window and leapt around the room, toppling furniture, a colleague said Thursday.

I think 'toppling' was what did it for me. As well as the completely un-newsworthiness of the story.

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ September 17 2009, 9:21 AM BST

Okay, this is the least gory. It's the top of his head after he was stitched up.

Image

I think it looks like a Cornish pasty.

And that was just caused by leaving his sun visor down.

Fecking blooming bloody Norah.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/leicestershire/8263027.stm

The British authorities' attitudes to social disorder, justice, crime priorities, and contempt for the people who pay their wages, summarised in one single article. That's the wanky society we live in.

Quote: Aaron @ September 18 2009, 6:17 PM BST

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/leicestershire/8263027.stm

The British authorities' attitudes to social disorder, justice, crime priorities, and contempt for the people who pay their wages, summarised in one single article. That's the wanky society we live in.

Wow, that's terrible. Those punks would have been arrested time after time in the U.S. and, in most neighborhoods, I couldn't see the neighbors standing by while it happened.

Your cops seem to have their priorities mixed up. I wonder what they would have done had she used a racial slur (or a baseball bat) against the people terrorizing her family?

The police are hampered more by red tape set down upon them from on-high than they are by their own competence (or lack thereof). The whole system needs to be re-built from the ground up (by me). Everything is target-driven, obsessed with meeting "guidelines". I don't think you could possibly understand how backwards the whole of modern British society and the law-makers' priorities are without actually living here. If she, or the neighbours, had done anything then yes, they'd have been hauled off, probably fined and/or imprisoned whilst the little shits get off scot-free.

It's just a mess. Make me PM and we'll get this shit sorted out.

Quote: Aaron @ September 18 2009, 6:32 PM BST

I don't think you could possibly understand how backwards the whole of modern British society and the law-makers' priorities are without actually living here.

I don't understand how priorities can shift from protecting the innocent and law-abiding citizens and punishing criminals to ignoring the citizens and defending the criminals. I can see how some idealistic dreamers might have thought they'd fix things by treating everyone nicely, but surely they've noticed that their experiment has failed. Why haven't the people voted the idiots out of power?

Because, as sad as it makes me to say this, on many other factors the other parties weren't (and in some cases still aren't) much/any better. Only the Conservatives offer any real even possibility of change now with the talk of scrapping the Human Rights Act.

As for how the change happened, numerous factors IMO. We've slipped into it over a number of years, with each step seeming fairly innocent, harmless, but when all put together we get this. The way I see it, the HRA is a massive, massive contributor. Top-down Government targets. Removing responsibility from people who know what they're doing because they're on the front line (this goes right from police to teachers, doctors ... everyone those twats in Government can get their meddling hands on).

I could go on. But you get the point.

Oh, and criminalising pretty much everything save being alive, whilst building no more prisons.

I believe a balance has to struck. Plenty of good people do bad things and should be given a second chance. The problem is the causes run deep and are not easily fixed. Strict penal systems and capital punishment, as the US shows, do not neccessarily work and there's no quick fix. A stop on poverty, better education and a better community spirit will certainly help, but it wil take some time.

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ September 18 2009, 6:57 PM BST

Strict penal systems and capital punishment, as the US shows, do not neccessarily work

I'm not a big proponent, but I'm pretty sure capital punishment is an effective way to ensure that a murderer stops murdering. ;)

We keep building more prisons and I'm fine with it, even if it means more taxes. Violent offenders and predators should be caged like the animals they are and kept there in bleak conditions until they change their ways or die.

Quote: DaButt @ September 18 2009, 7:05 PM BST

I'm not a big proponent, but I'm pretty sure capital punishment is an effective way to ensure that a murderer stops murdering. ;)

But there's still such a high homicide rate in the US. :S

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ September 18 2009, 7:08 PM BST

But there's still such a high homicide rate in the US. :S

Because the thugs who commit most of the murders face death on the streets every day. Remove the inner-city thugs, gang members and those involved in the drug trade and our homicide rate is unremarkable. There's a strong racial component to our homicide rate, but it is a very sensitive issue and it's rarely discussed.

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