Quote: Rob0 @ September 13 2009, 4:09 PM BST
I had my canoe valued in Cambridge. He said he didn't know if he could sell it but it was probably worth a punt.
Did you hear about the alcoholic falsely claiming child benefits? She was partial to a baby-sham.
I can see why you'd want these adopted. If no joy, then abandon the poor bastards.
Quote: Marooned @ September 10 2009, 11:27 PM BSTThanks for your help, Steve.
What kind of stuff do you write?
Whatever I can think of, mostly sketches or one liners.
Not particularly successfully, so take my comments with a pinch of salt.
ABANDON CANOE!!!
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ September 13 2009, 7:13 PM BSTWhatever I can think of, mostly sketches or one liners.
Not particularly successfully, so take my comments with a pinch of salt.
I've been sobbing for the past few days over your comments, I took them with a...err, dollop of salt.
Quote: Marooned @ September 13 2009, 8:51 PM BSTABANDON CANOE!!!
I've been sobbing for the past few days over your comments, I took them with a...err, dollop of salt.
Well I hope you weren't sobbing, but the couple of jokes you posted didn't quite work, but you admitted that they weren't your best.
That's why I'd like to see some of your favourite jokes, and as I said before, if they are any good then chances are someone will tell you so.
The ideas were there, but the execution didn't seem to be quite right.
But that's just my point of view.
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ September 13 2009, 9:04 PM BSTWell I hope you weren't sobbing, but the couple of jokes you posted didn't quite work, but you admitted that they weren't your best.
That's why I'd like to see some of your favourite jokes, and as I said before, if they are any good then chances are someone will tell you so.The ideas were there, but the execution didn't seem to be quite right.
But that's just my point of view.
To be honest I don't think I've written any jokes that I'm proud of yet, maybe sometime soon.
I've just started a comedy newsletter that I'm quite proud of.
Could I see some of your material?
Quote: Marooned @ September 13 2009, 9:08 PM BSTTo be honest I don't think I've written any jokes that I'm proud of yet, maybe sometime soon.
I've just started a comedy newsletter that I'm quite proud of.
Could I see some of your material?
I Don't have very much to be honest, but I'm happy to PM you a link or two from here.
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ September 13 2009, 9:11 PM BSTI Don't have very much to be honest, but I'm happy to PM you a link or two from here.
Go for it.
Quote: Marooned @ September 11 2009, 12:00 AM BSTSee, the first character is using 'hey' as an exclamation but the second character interprets it to mean that Hay is what her leg is made of. The first character thinks the second character is feeling up her leg and the second character thinks he's just resting his hand on some barnyard Hay.
Bottom line is - first character's a Scarecrow.
This explaination made me laugh - Marooned, surely you realise that if a joke needs this much analysis it's not a go-er. Has anyone got it when you've told it to them (without the explanation)?
Quote: Sammy @ September 13 2009, 3:41 PM BSTI wrote a couple of really rubbish jokes the other day -
- What do you call an average looking aircraft?
- Plane
Quote: Rob0 @ September 13 2009, 4:09 PM BST
I quite like those. Need to work at one-liners but are of the ilk:
I had my canoe valued in Cambridge. He said he didn't know if he could sell it but it was probably worth a punt.
Did you hear about the alcoholic falsely claiming child benefits? She was partial to a baby-sham.
groan. Nice.
Quote: Stan Doubt @ September 14 2009, 9:19 AM BSTThis explaination made me laugh - Marooned, surely you realise that if a joke needs this much analysis it's not a go-er. Has anyone got it when you've told it to them (without the explanation)?
Oh no, the "Hay" joke was just for fun within this thread. To humour myself really.
As a person I can be very over-analytical so I need to work on getting the jokes to explain themselves.
I'm glad the explanation made you laugh though!
Quote: Marooned @ September 14 2009, 9:50 AM BSTOh no, the "Hay" joke was just for fun within this thread. To humour myself really.
As a person I can be very over-analytical so I need to work on getting the jokes to explain themselves.
I'm glad the explanation made you laugh though!
I think you could use it in a comedy act as ironically/knowingly explaining a bad joke. I wouldn't worry about people stealing your jokes, if you put them up here everything is time and date stamped (i.e. if you see a standup using it, you can show everyone that the joke was yours originally and that standup will become known for stealing jokes). The best advice I can give is to do it yourself though - starting out with friends and then moving to a friendly open mic.
Quote: Stan Doubt @ September 14 2009, 11:21 AM BSTI think you could use it in a comedy act as ironically/knowingly explaining a bad joke. I wouldn't worry about people stealing your jokes, if you put them up here everything is time and date stamped (i.e. if you see a standup using it, you can show everyone that the joke was yours originally and that standup will become known for stealing jokes). The best advice I can give is to do it yourself though - starting out with friends and then moving to a friendly open mic.
That's good advice, but I could never do stand-up. I will probably never have that sort of confidence. Believe me, I used to be a performing musician and I just could not handle the live setting unfortunately.
What do you call a school that suffers with deja vu?
Religious.
When is a shoe not a shoe?
Yes.
Quote: Mark Norton @ September 23 2009, 10:48 AM BSTWhen is a shoe not a shoe?
Yes.
Now that's a thinker...
An S thinker?