BACK TO THE FUTURE
1. INT. CRYOFARM INDUSTRIES CRYOGENICS DEPT. DAY.
MR TALBOT STANDS UPRIGHT IN A CRYOEGENIC POD, ASLEEP. HE'S WEARING A HOSPITAL-STYLE SMOCK. WE HEAR AN ELECTRONIC VOICE.
ELECTRONIC VOICE: (VO)
Cryogenic thaw process complete.
A BRIGHT LIGHT FLICKERS ON AND MR TALBOT OPENS HIS EYES, BLINKING AGAINST THE BRIGHTNESS. THE DOOR OPENS WITH A HYDRAULIC HISS AND HE IS GREETED BY A SMILING, WHITECOATED GUY, DOCTOR FRIELMANN.
FRIELMANN:
I am Doctor Frielmann of Cryofarm Technologies. Welcome to the future, Mr Talbot.
MR TALBOT:
Oh my God…I don't believe it! It worked!
MR TALBOT STEPS OUT INTO THE ROOM TO THE APPLAUSE OF A FEW OTHER WHITE-SUITED LAB PEOPLE. HE STUMBLES A LITTLE AND DR FRIELMANN STOPS HIM FROM FALLING.
FRIELMANN:
Whoah there old man, easy. You've not used your legs in 500 years.
MR TALBOT:
Five…hundred…
FRIELMANN:
(NODDING) That's right. It's now the year 2510. You're the first cryogenically-frozen human to survive the process actually. I expect there's a lot you'll want to ask.
MR TALBOT:
(EMOTIONALLY) This is unbelievable…I always wanted to see the future and… here I am! Your technology must be amazing.
FRIELMANN:
(NODDING SYMPATHETICALLY) There are many marvels your 21st century intellect will struggle to understand, but step by step, we'll get there.
A MOBILE PHONE RINGS. IT'S A MONOTONE BEEPING TUNE, "AXEL F" BY HAROLD FALTERMEYER.
FRIELMANN:
Ah! The perfect introduction.
HE PRODUCES A MOBILE PHONE FROM HIS POCKET. IT'S HUGE, RESEMBLING ONE OF THOSE MASSIVE MOBILES FROM THE EIGHTIES.
FRIELMANN:
Just the wife, she'll keep. (TURNS IT OFF) Now Mr Talbot…this…is a mobile telephone, the very latest in portable communication.
MR TALBOT:
Yeah, we had those back in my time. Only…smaller.
FRIELMANN:
Oh. Did you? Sorry, ancient history isn't really my subject. No matter, there's a whole world of futuristic wonders for you to explore. For instance, entertainment. Now I suppose in your time you amused yourselves by playing physical games like football, tennis and the like.
MR TALBOT:
Sometimes, yeah.
FRIELMANN:
Well Mr Talbot, here in the 26th century we've moved away from the sportsfields and into our comfy armchairs, where we play ultra-realistic electronic games. Prepare yourself now. This might shock you. Behold, the games of the future!
THERE'S A SHEET COVERING SOMETHING ON A TABLE AND FRIELMANN WHIPS IT AWAY, REVEALING AN OLD-FASHIONED PORTABLE TV WITH THE EIGHTIES GAME "PONG" PLAYING ON IT.
FRIELMANN:
Just look at those graphics. You could almost be in Wimbledon, couldn't you?
MR TALBOT:
Erm…
FRIELMANN:
I know, I know, it's a lot to take in but I have so much to show you! Behold, the fashion of the future!
HE WHIPS OFF HIS LAB COAT TO REVEAL THAT HE'S DRESSED LIKE ADAM ANT, TIGHT LEATHER TROUSERS, FRILLY SHIRT, MILITARY JERKIN ETC.
FRIELMANN:
Modern Music!
A LAB TECHNICIAN PRESSES PLAY ON A HUGE GHETTO BLASTER, AND ADAM ANT'S "PRINCE CHARMING" BEGINS TO PLAY. DR FRIELMANN AND HIS ASSISTANTS FORM A LINE AND BEGIN DOING THE FAMOUS ADAM ANT DANCE, SLOWLY MARCHING FORWARD TOWARDS MR TALBOT.
MR TALBOT:
Stop it, for God's sake stop it!
THE MUSIC STOPS, LEAVING DR FRIELMANN IN MID-ANT POSE.
DR FRIELMANN:
Problem?
MR TALBOT:
I don't believe this, I thought I was going to witness the Utopia of the future! It said in the brochure it'd be all glittering towers and androids and stuff! This is all shit from the 1980s! What happened?
DR FRIELMANN:
(SADLY) Hamster Flu.
MR TALBOT:
What?
DR FRIELMANN:
10 years after you were frozen, Hamster Flu hit. Turned most of the population into zombies. The restless undead, scouring the Earth for the only nourishment that would appease them.
MR TALBOT:
Human flesh?
DR FRIELMANN:
Sunflower seeds. It was mankind's darkest hour. Cities burned, countries fell. And then the seeds ran out and the zombies died. That's when we started again, we rebuilt society from the beginning, Mr Talbot And this is where we are today.
MR TALBOT:
Yeah, 1985! Oh Christ! You don't have yuppies do you?
DR FRIELMANN:
I'm afraid so.
MR TALBOT:
Oh God. Well…at least my cancer can be treated now.
DR FRIELMANN LOOKS UNCOMFORTABLY AT HIS COLLEAGUES.
MR TALBOT:
You can cure cancer can't you? That was why I had myself frozen, so you could cure me! God!
HE SITS DOWN AND PUTS HIS HEAD IN HIS HANDS.
DR FRIELMANN:
Sorry. Here, look. This'll cheer you up.
MR TALBOT LOOKS UP.
DR FRIELMANN:
Your new car!
A SINCLAIR C5 IS WHEELED IN. MR TALBOT BEGINS TO CRY.
END SKETCH
