Ian Wolf. If you ventured to the forums the site was built to cater for, you'd know him. 
Jack Tweed Page 11
Quote: Matthew Stott @ September 6 2009, 7:33 PM BSTWho cares about Jack Tweed? Really?
I totally agree. What a waste of a thread.
Quote: Aaron @ September 8 2009, 4:12 PM BSTIan Wolf. If you ventured to the forums the site was built to cater for, you'd know him.
Quote: EllieJP @ September 8 2009, 4:09 PM BSTWho IS this Ian?
Edit: Did some research. He doesn't post in General so I didn't recognise his name.
Racist.
Yes, a pain in the arse and I couldn't care less about him myself. He gives us Jack's a bad name.
Jacks*
Ahem.
Quote: Jack Massey @ September 8 2009, 9:23 PM BSTYes, a pain in the arse and I couldn't care less about him myself. He gives us Jack's a bad name.
Unlike Jack the Ripper, Jack Straw and of course, Little Jack Horner. (Note how the evil increases expedentially along the list).
Of course the best Jack ever is Jack Bauer from 24.
You don't know Jack!
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 8 2009, 11:05 PM BSTOf course the best Jack ever is Jack Bauer from 24.
Jack Bauer, Jason Bourne, James Bond. Is there something about the initials J.B?
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ September 8 2009, 11:12 PM BSTJack Bauer, Jason Bourne, James Bond. Is there something about the initials J.B?
Johnny Bravo, Jim Bean, John Barrowman. There does seem to be a pattern Dolly.
Who is Jack Schitt? The lineage is finally revealed! Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says: "You don't know Jack Schitt."
Now you can intellectually handle the situation:Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt.
They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The Deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents objection, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After being married for 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.
Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were still living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Shitt Sherlock.Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt.
Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens Wedding.
The Schitt-Happens children were Daawg, Byrd, Hoarse and Bull.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.So now when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", You can correct them!
Old and tired, but it had to be mentioned.
Ha! Never actually heard that before.
I'm a bit worried about the chronology here:
"Against her parents objection, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After being married for 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced."
Today I was reading a trashy magazine (don't judge me) and it had an article on Jack Tweed with the following words...
'Jack Tweed has been charged with raping a 19 year old woman. He may have been by Jade's side when she was dying of cancer but it seems he still has a lot of growing up to do'
A lot of growing up to do?! Like rape is something you do when you're young and then suddenly realise 'actually I'm too mature for raping these days'
What?!
Most of us have given it up by our 30s. When you're in your teens or 20s you're young and fit and you want to do it every weekend. Eventually though you get dragged down by the rat race, you get into a relationship and simply don't have the time or inclination any more. I haven't done it since I was 29, even though I regret giving it up, of course. Even if I ever did it again I doubt it would have the same buzz as when I was young. Anyway, my knees are too knackered to do it well now... 
Oh, rape? Sorry, I thought we were talking about playing football.
Rape, horrible business.