Babe Question Time

INT. babeboxtv studio

Kitty is a babeboxtv model, she poses in front of the camera, she talks into a microphone, in front of her is a monitor for displaying text messages.

Kitty
My name is Kitty and boys, you are watching Babe Box TV, where we bring the tits to you. And It looks like we have a special guest tonight.

David cameron climbs into the shot.

Kitty
What's your name sweetheart?

David
It's David Cameron.

Kitty
Oohh David and what do you do, David?

DAVID
I am Leader of the Conservative Party.

Kitty
Oohh, I like parties.

DAVID
Me too, I often attend the discotheque.

Kitty
Yeah? Well let's crack on.

DAVID
I don't do that stuff anymore.

Kitty
Sorry lovely? I mean let's crack on with some of these texts.

DAVID
Oh right, okay, shoot!

Kitty
This one's from BigBoy78, he wants to know if you can shift to the right?

DAVID
Oh okay, if that's what he wants, that's what I'll do.

David and Kitty switch sides.

Kitty
Hope that works for you BigBoy, do you have a big boy David?

DAVID
Call me Dave. And yes, he's almost one.

Kitty
Doesn't sound very big to me, unless you're not talking inches (giggles). Let's get another text shall we? (Reads) What is your favourite position? From
RandyAndy.

DAVID
I like the Opposition.

Kitty
Oh, I've never heard of that one, sounds kinky.

DAVID
Well, I am the leader of it.

Kitty
Oh, you're like that are you? (Giggles) Okay Dave, I'll let you read one out.
DAVID
(Reads)
When can we see your policies? From Ivor Bigun.

Kitty
Oh David, are you going to get your polices out for all our callers tonight then?

DAVID
Yes, they're in my trousers.

Kitty
Well where else would you keep them?

DAVID
Well I normally do it on the bench.

Kitty
Oh, I tried that once (giggles) it was a little too hard for me, something I don't normally complain about (giggles)

The phone starts to ring.

Kitty
Oh, David, looks like we have our first caller, go on then sweetheart, answer it.

David answers the phone. Kitty starts pulling some poses whilst she waits.

DAVID
Hello? (Beat) You want me to what?

David starts to rub his nipple through his shirt. Kitty continues to dance around.

DAVID
Harder? But it's an Armarni, I don't want to wear down the material.

He starts rubbing harder and gets more into it.

DAVID
What?

He stands up and reluctantly turns around and bends over and wiggles his arse. Kitty still dances. he turns back around and blows a kiss to the camera.

DAVID
Hello, hello?

He hangs .up The phone. Kitty stops dancing and sits back down with him.

Kitty
Aw, babes, you enjoy that? We had another text whilst you were speaking to our lovely callers.

DAVID
(Reads)
You've got nothing on Tony. From PMGB

Kitty
Oh, who's this Tony and where can I meet him? (Giggles) Anyway babes, it looks like we're out of time. Any last words Davey?

DAVID
Keep it real ma niggas.

Kitty
Well thank you David and they you to all our callers and texters, you've been watching Babe Box Tv, where we bring the tits, to you.

They both wave goodbye.

End.

I like this alot Lee, we should work on something sometime

Thanks and no thanks, I think you're a bit of a prick TBH.

Quote: Leevil @ September 9, 2007, 11:23 PM

Thanks and no thanks, I think you're a bit of a prick TBH.

View original

Oh well c'est la vie

Great idea Lee. Politicians on a live phone in doing shit.

Cool I liked few crits though,

It began to drag for me in the middle the fun and energy from beginning disapeared. I'd get him on the phone as soon as possible.

Other then that good stuff

Cheers Gav mate, I'll let the Newsrevue pick n choose what they want, but thanks for the honest crit.

I liked it Lee.

Not sure about the "niggas" bit though.

I like it - 50 points.

Quote: Simon Stratton @ September 10, 2007, 1:45 PM

I like it - 50 points.

View original

I'll pay you later

Very very good Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil.

Thank you very very much Chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarley.

I wasn't sure whether Cameron was complicit with the fact that he was on a sex chat show or he was being duped. The 'ma niggas' but seemed like he was in on the joke, or was it just a way to finish the sketch? I think clarifying one way or the other would improve the quality of the jokes greatly.

Gigglerama!

Thanks David, I thought about that actually, but never decided to do anything about it because, I actually thought, no one else would notice.

But the fact that she says "where we bring the tits, to you." should give a clear example that he's not in on it.

In the final draft, the word 'niggas' has been replaced with 'homies'.

Thank you also, Ruby-Doo.