The BCG charity

Ok stop giving to African assylum seekers and the free Jack Tweedy fund. Because charity begins at home and by at home I mean my home.

Sara Palin is offering to go on a date with anyone who can stump up $15,000. But I reckon if you could find just another $15,000 she might invite Sootyj back to the govenors mansion; let down her librarian's hair take off her glasses and cry "Drill baby drill!"

Or for a mere 11 billion dollars you could buy Ruby Mae Cadbury's and all their Oompa Loompa slaves.

A mere 50 squids would buy Aaron a megaphone large enought to hurl abuse at France.

So come give, give now! Give to not very comic relief.

Just £1 will buy Chappers three new jokes.

Or for 50p you can have 3 new Chappers.

Cadburys?! You know nothing about me!!!!!

And I don't need Oompa Loompas to do my bidding. I have Danny, Gav, and Lee for that.

I've heard for 20 quid you can get a chapped stick.

Ok looks like it's time for all the money to go into "Sootyj's gland aid."

Just 30 thousand bucks will get him dressing an Alaskan Moose, a sexy nazi Alaskan moose.

Quote: sootyj @ September 7 2009, 8:14 PM BST

Ok looks like it's time for all the money to go into "Sootyj's gland aid."

Just 30 thousand bucks will get him dressing an Alaskan Moose, a sexy nazi Alaskan moose.

View original

For just a few bucks you can get a tour around Auschwitz by an Alaskan Moose...I think. I'm sure I read in the brochure, oh, and you get tea and biscuits after.

Garibaldi by any chance?

Was that an insult of surreal incomprehensiblibility and offensiveness?

C'mon if you raise the 30 grand for me to get Palin' 'Impalin I'll make a video and post it up.

Confessions of a comedy writer!

Inside SootyJ...The hand that rocks the Puppet.

Quote: sootyj @ September 7 2009, 8:23 PM BST

Was that an insult of surreal incomprehensiblibility and offensiveness?

C'mon if you raise the 30 grand for me to get Palin' 'Impalin I'll make a video and post it up.

Confessions of a comedy writer!

View original

Yes. Yes it was. I'm still waiting for them to open the gift shop up at Auschwitz, and then il go. I could do with a new pair of shoes, and my gfriend wants some new hair exensions...

I'll*

For a measly £80, we could buy two Manchester City shirts for Jack Massey and Spagett.

And just out of curiousity and theoretically speaking, if you accidentally choked a Romanian hooker to death during a bout of violent love play, how much would it cost to pay off her pimp and have the body taken away? Theoretically speaking.

£5 for a shovel and a hacksaw from Homebase you ruddy slacker! Honestly serial killers there days. No bloody work ethic!
And as for the pimp suck off DaveyC a couple of times and he'll call it even.

You'll have to get a spirit level to really check that one out.