British Comedy Guide

The all-in-one consolidatory football thread Page 28

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ September 5 2009, 12:43 AM BST

Excuse me!
I'm trying to find a thread where I can have a go at Manchester United.
If anyones sees one then please let me know.

Whatever do you mean Steve? Are you suggesting that a small minority on this thread are boring the bollocks off everyone with their constant sniping?

You didn't come on here to actually talk about football did you? Now where were we? -

'Your team is poo.'

'Your team smells.'

'Your team has cooties'.

Ad infinitum until the end of time and space.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 5 2009, 2:48 PM BST

Whatever do you mean Steve? Are you suggesting that a small minority on this thread are boring the bollocks off everyone with their constant sniping?

You didn't come on here to actually talk about football did you? Now where were we? -

'Your team is poo.'

'Your team smells.'

'Your team has cooties'.

Ad infinitum until the end of time and space.

Actually that is fair enough. This sniping is childish and I am one of those children doing it.

So what do we think about England.

I have been tricked many times before but I think under Cappello we might have an actual chance of winning the World Cup. Apparantly June and July in South Africa is freezing and rains alot which must surely help us.

What do you all reckon?

You summed it up perfectly when you said that you've been tricked many times before and I'm no different.

We'll draw our first group stage match, then win the second, at which point the national press will go bonkers and we'll all convince ourselves that this time we're actually going to win.

We'll get knocked out by the quarters as usual and then everyone will piss and moan (myself very much included) and then we'll go on with our lives.

However, we'll be sickeningly reminded of how close we came for weeks after as lazy chavs forget to take down the St. George Cross from their windows and van antennas.

I feel like a battered spouse whenever I watch England, always wanting to see the good in them and praying that they've changed and this time it will be different and we'll live happily ever after in our cottage made out of World Cups.

Watching Scotland beating Macadonia 2-0, good on 'em. Enjoyable match.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 5 2009, 4:10 PM BST

You summed it up perfectly when you said that you've been tricked many times before and I'm no different.

We'll draw our first group stage match, then win the second, at which point the national press will go bonkers and we'll all convince ourselves that this time we're actually going to win.

We'll get knocked out by the quarters as usual and then everyone will piss and moan (myself very much included) and then we'll go on with our lives.

However, we'll be sickeningly reminded of how close we came for weeks after as lazy chavs forget to take down the St. George Cross from their windows and van antennas.

I feel like a battered spouse whenever I watch England, always wanting to see the good in them and praying that they've changed and this time it will be different and we'll live happily ever after in our cottage made out of World Cups.

:D

The bit about the battered spouse is perfect.

I remember when we lost on penalties in 2006 and unlike the countless times that that has happened before I didn't feel sorry for the team or myself.

I was actually angry we lost on penalties AGAIN. To lose the odd one is fair enough but when you have lost 6 out 7 shootouts then clearly something is very wrong and we still haven't fixed it.

Oh and in your prediction for the World Cup you missed the part where we all try to pin the blame on a ref for us losing even though we were crap all through the tournament.

Quote: Spagett @ September 5 2009, 11:58 PM BST

:

Oh and in your prediction for the World Cup you missed the part where we all try to pin the blame on a ref for us losing even though we were crap all through the tournament.

That sounds like Ferguson whenever anyone has the cheek to beat his glorious sore-losers.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 5 2009, 4:10 PM BST

You summed it up perfectly when you said that you've been tricked many times before and I'm no different.

Why do we fall for it so many times?

I preferred it back in the 80's when England were just hard to beat but nothing more.
One handball & a few tears later, we'd been cruelly robbed of our rightful place as World Champions.

Graham Taylor managed to put our expectations back where they belong, but Terry Venables raised our hopes once again, and Sven raised them yet further by Beating germany 5-1 away.

England are still, as ever a fairly functional hard to beat team.
That luckily has a few world class players.

However I shall continue to get carried away with everyone else.
We don't usually qualify this easy, normally we need a draw in poland or somewhere on the last day. So that is surely proof that we are going to win the World cup again next year.

Quote: Chappers @ September 6 2009, 12:09 AM BST

That sounds like Ferguson whenever anyone has the cheek to beat his glorious sore-losers.

Chappers for the love of God man grow up.

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ September 6 2009, 12:24 AM BST

Why do we fall for it so many times?

I preferred it back in the 80's when England were just hard to beat but nothing more.
One handball & a few tears later, we'd been cruelly robbed of our rightful place as World Champions.

Graham Taylor managed to put our expectations back where they belong, but Terry Venables raised our hopes once again, and Sven raised them yet further by Beating germany 5-1 away.

England are still, as ever a fairly functional hard to beat team.
That luckily has a few world class players.

However I shall continue to get carried away with everyone else.
We don't usually qualify this easy, normally we need a draw in poland or somewhere on the last day. So that is surely proof that we are going to win the World cup again next year.

Someone said we are an international version of Aston Villa and I agree.

A decent team with good players who on their day are capable of beating anyone.

The only problem is when it comes to the crunch and the very highest level we just can't quite do it much like Villa.

Like you said maybe we should just be content on getting to (most) tournaments. Anything after that should be looked at as a bonus.

I would feel sorry for you lot except that I support Wales. We barely qualify as a football team as strangely enough all our best players from Premiership clubs seem to get mysterious injuries on the Saturday before a a game in the week.

Quote: roscoff @ September 6 2009, 12:31 AM BST

I would feel sorry for you lot except that I support Wales. We barely qualify as a football team country

Whistling nnocently

Tim if you look just under your letter box you should find a damp patch. No, it wasn't the cat.

Come on, you Druids can do better than that. Why not go and burn down a couple of holiday cottages for old times' sake. ;)

Quote: Tim Walker @ September 6 2009, 12:44 AM BST

Come on, you Druids can do better than that. Why not go and burn down a couple of holiday cottages for old times' sake. ;)

Ahh! Heady days. The smell of petrol can on leather. Heather smouldering. God she was a great shag.

Laughing out loud

Remember the days when Wales had Southall, Ratcliffe, Rush, Hughes, Saunders, Speed and Giggs playing for them? Scotland could only dream of having that many big stars playing for them back then, but still they managed to qualify for the World Cup and the Euro Champs, unlike Wales.

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