British Comedy Guide

Hotel Crime Scene

Let me know your thoughts chaps:

A GROUP OF POLICE OFFICERS ARE BUSTLING IN A HOTEL LOBBY. A MAN IN A SUIT CROSSES THE POLICE TAPE IN THE ENTRANCE AND APPROACHES AN OFFICER

DETECTIVE INSPECTOR:
Sergeant! What do we have here then?

SERGEANT:
Well sir, triple murder, all separate rooms.

DI:
Have you got any leads?

S:
We have sir. Come and take a look.

CUT TO:

DI AND S STANDING OUTSIDE HOTEL ROOM. POLICE TAPE ACROSS THE DOOR. A MAN LIES IN A POOL OF BLOOD ON THE FLOOR BY THE BED. HOOF PRINTS IN BLOOD TRAIL AWAY FROM THE BODY

DI:
Good god, what happened here!?

S:
Well sir, we've spoken to owner who has explained that this building is cursed. Whenever there is a full moon, whatever creatures are depicted in the room come to life and kill the occupant at midnight. Apparently, these three didn't believe it.

DI:
So, hoof prints. I take it that would be cows then?

S:
Yes sir, there is a picture of a herd of cows in a meadow in that room sir.

DI:
Ok. Next room!

CUT TO:

DI AND S ARRIVE AT ANOTHER HOTEL ROOM. A SKELETON IS LYING ON THE BED

DI:
Jesus! What the hell happened to this man!?

S:
As far as we can tell sir, he was watching a documentary about piranhas last night.

DI:
Gruesome. Moving on.

CUT TO:

THIRD ROOM. THE DOOR IS CLOSED

DI:
What do we have here then?

S:
I must warn you sir, it is quite sinister.

DI:
Let's see it then.

S SWINGS OPEN THE DOOR. A ROPE HANGS ABOVE THE BED. A MAN IN JUST HIS UNDERWEAR HANGS FROM IT BY HIS HANDS AND FEET, HIS STOMACH FACING THE DOWNWARDS. HE IS BLINDFOLDED AND HAS A ROLLED UP WAD OF PAPER STICKING OUT OF HIS MOUTH. AN EVIL LOOKING DAGGER PROTRUDES FROM HIS BACK. THE DI COVERS HIS MOUTH IN SHOCK

DI:
What on Earth...?

S:
I know. Horrific, isn't it.

DI:
But I can't see any animals in the room, and there isn't a TV. What happened?

S:
This man, sir...

DI:
Yes?

S:
He did it to himself, sir. He's a lawyer.

END

Sorry, but I'm not sure I understand. Is the joke he just hates himself 'cause he's a lawyer?

I agree with Rob0 there chief - it bypassed me a little

Ah, never mind, it made sense in my head when I thought of it about five minutes after waking up!

I think the problem here is that the third crime scene doesn't really follow the rules of the first two, which makes it quite a convoluted way to set up a lawyer joke.

Drastic un-comedy

It's way too clunky and over explained. This is more of an elaborate shaggy dog story then a sketch.

Sorry, but...YWB

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