The worst book in the world

What is the worst book in the world? The very worst; fiction, fact, any language what ever, popular, unpopulr. The book that no one can read with out feeling slightly lousy and worse for it.

1 The Lover's Guide 1970s edition. How many people were put off sex for life by two hairy hippies playing the "dog and currant bun" game.

2 The Portrait of a Lady. A book so long and boring it almost put me off reading. Plus the moral it's great to be miserable is stupid.

3 Mein Kampf. If you're going to commit genocide or beat up immigrants. Please choose a book that doesn't read like Homer Simpson writing about syphilis.

4 Ancient religious texts taken literally. Ok if he's a loving God who came to save us, died for our sons etc etc. Then he probably didn't mind gays or aetheists and wasn't into head chopping.

5 Pete and Jane. Patriarchical and racist propaganda for young innocent minds. Where was their West Indian chum Winston or Anne Jane's lesbian chum eh eh?

Beat that lor.

I agree with Portrait Of A Lady and I'd like to add Perfume by Patrick Suskind.

Heart of Darkness sucked, but spawned some cool things, so it's by no means the worst book.

The Da Vinci Code was just plain annoying - it was little more than a Three Investigators type solve-the-mystery book dressed up with some religious thrills.

Definitely the worst book I've read in recent years was Planet Simpson. When I borrowed it from a friend, I had been expecting some delightful behind the scenes anecdotes about the TV show and its cast and writers. Instead I got a tedious treatise on some boring guy's thoughts on The Simpsons in relation to his boring life. Awful. Last year I bought Mrs Slocombe's Pussy, thinking it would contain some fun tales about fun TV shows, but it turned out to be in the same vein as Planet Simpson, so I exchanged it for a DVD of Jesus of Montreal.

I bought a scary 1950s ethics guide a few years back. 'Man, Morals and Society', I think it was called. Ended up reading it with friends for a laugh on New Years, ended up practically weeping.

Catcher in the Rye left me :-| -faced for a week. Maybe not the worst book in the world, but I've never read one with a more punchable protagonist.

Actually, scratch that. ANYONE in Tim Winton's Cloud Street occupies that role.

Is about as interesting as

... What were the 75 vegetables? I'm sure I couldn't get beyond 20 if I tried.

When I was a kid I was fascinated by all things Forgotten Realms, so I would of course want to read about the most important character in that series. I tried reading the book 3 times without success!!!
The book was poorly written with over the top dialogue and droned on with descriptions of how cool the character was. I had several other nerdy friends who couldn't get through the book either. Ed Greenwood made a great world for others to write about but his contributions end there.

Quote: Kenneth @ August 30 2009, 10:47 AM BST

The Da Vinci Code was just plain annoying - it was little more than a Three Investigators type solve-the-mystery book dressed up with some religious thrills.

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I like that book.

Quote: Aaron @ August 30 2009, 2:47 PM BST

I like that book.

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I liked it too. I didn't want to, and there were a few times I wanted to hurl it out of the nearest window, but I did enjoy it. Great opening scene, downhill from there, but the slope was shallow enough for me to get to the end.

I've read loads these Summer holidays, but am currently down to the detritus of my reading pile. I'm finding 'Masters of Rome' by John Stack (it's close to that at least) almost unfinishable as it's so badly written. A decent basis for a story, but it's just, 'he felt..., she felt...'. Truly dreadful.

Quote: Aaron @ August 30 2009, 2:47 PM BST

I like that book.

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It was a bunch of rather old and well worn conspiracy theories about the Vatican. It was competently written but if you've ever read anything about the Illuminati etc it's not original enough to excite.

Back when I was a bit of a Treki I tried reading some Trek books. The one's about TOS written by proper writers were ok. However some of the new ones are literally unreadable.

None I've heard in the past. But even if I had, I'm sure I'd delight in the conjecture upon the evils of the Catholic church.

"75 exciting vegetables for my garden"....ooh I wouldn't mind a gander at that actually, as I have been doin' a spot of gardening lately.

Heyy Forgotten realms....not bad, not bad. I wonder if anyone remembers those Fighting Fantasy books by Ian Livingstone and Steve Jackson. Classics!

Sorcery were even better.

Sorcery hey..Whos the author? it wasnt Joe Dever was it?

Nope I got you...just Google'd it now....I had that book TITAN that Sorcery was based upon. DARK soots.

Quote: Aaron @ August 30 2009, 9:48 PM BST

None I've heard in the past. But even if I had, I'm sure I'd delight in the conjecture upon the evils of the Catholic church.

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My girlfriend's nan must NEVER learn that I'm a Catholic. She didn't go to her first grandchild's Christening because it was a Catholic ceremony.