British Comedy Guide

Went to London today... Page 4

Quote: Leevil @ August 28 2009, 11:04 PM BST

I thought this was great - Giant Sloth.

I found some giant sloth bones while digging in my back yard in Florida. Extinct horse teeth and camel bones, too. Also giant armadillo plates, turtle shells and huge shark's teeth.

Are you going to open a museum wing in your house?

Quote: zooo @ August 29 2009, 12:40 AM BST

Are you going to open a museum wing in your house?

I gave most of the stuff to my science teacher when I was a teenager.

A friend and I found a mastodon tooth on one of our field trips. It was huge!

Quote: Leevil @ August 28 2009, 11:04 PM BST

RE: Natural History Museum.

I thought this was great - Giant Sloth.

Giant sloth? I wandered where my skeleton went!

Quote: DaButt @ August 29 2009, 12:43 AM BST

I gave most of the stuff to my science teacher when I was a teenager.

A friend and I found a mastodon tooth on one of our field trips. It was huge!

Is that a rather rude metaphor for something that got her (or him) 3 years in jail?

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ August 28 2009, 11:44 PM BST

Spookily, I was on the Tube today and there was this Northern bloke who kept 'accidentally' pushing himself up against defenceless women. Like right in front of his girlfriend as well, the cheeky so and so.

I saw that too. Were you the sweaty bloke swearing and encouraging him, whilst playing pocket billiards?

Quote: Scottidog @ August 28 2009, 10:10 PM BST

Obvious. Probably. But alot of people are in suits who look about 12 wanting to be the next Alan Sugar, also it's Blackbery City. Put it away, nobody wants to f**king email you, you work in a f**king shop (i thought)

I think it's very kind and generous to the poor underprivellege of London. When some twunt gets out their; blackberry, iphone twat, ultra light laptop etc.
The poor denizens know exactly who to mug.

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ August 28 2009, 10:04 PM BST

Unless of course there's a pregnant lady wanting the same seat, in which case I don't need to run as fast.

Is it customary over there to give up your seat to the elderly, handicapped and pregnant?
20 years ago it was incredibly rude for a young person not to give up a seat in public transportation to these people, and there would always be someone to remind you, if you "forgot" or "did not see".
Now that we are democratic (haha!), the rule is much looser, much to chagrin of the aforementioned groups

Quote: WrongTale @ August 29 2009, 10:33 AM BST

Is it customary over there to give up your seat to the elderly, handicapped and pregnant?

Not always, but it's getting better again. Every time I've used the tube in the last month, someone has given up their seat (or offered to) because I've had a child with me.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ August 28 2009, 11:44 PM BST

Spookily, I was on the Tube today and there was this Northern bloke who kept 'accidentally' pushing himself up against defenceless women. Like right in front of his girlfriend as well, the cheeky so and so.

How very Dare you!

I am not a northerner, I am from the midlands.

And the defenceless woman did not seem to mind actually, as people from London have pointed out, they're used to it.

Come on, you would rather have a groper on the tube than a suicide bomber?

Quote: DaButt @ August 28 2009, 10:38 PM BST

It's San Francisco - all I'd have to do is yell, "Who wants to rub my thighs?" and a dozen men would queue up, bottles of baby oil in hand.

Wow, sounds like such a friendly city... I don't know why people say bad things about it.

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ August 29 2009, 11:15 AM BST

Not always, but it's getting better again. Every time I've used the tube in the last month, someone has given up their seat (or offered to) because I've had a child with me.

What? I don't know about you but where I live people give up seats if you look a bit podgy.

Quote: WrongTale @ August 29 2009, 10:33 AM BST

Is it customary over there to give up your seat to the elderly, handicapped and pregnant?

I always did so. In some Asian countries, where crowded public transport makes peak hour London Underground seem like being in a spacious business class carriage, you can get up to offer your seat to an old person or a pregnant woman, only to have some selfish youth barge forward and take your vacated seat. This happens with and without democracy. Call me old-fashioned, but I find it revolting that young people (especially men) don't automatically offer their seats to the elderly or infirm.

Quote: sootyj @ August 29 2009, 6:22 AM BST

I saw that too. Were you the sweaty bloke swearing and encouraging him, whilst playing pocket billiards?

No, I was the bloke with the mirrored top caps and the camera phone.

Quote: Scottidog @ August 29 2009, 11:18 AM BST

Come on, you would rather have a groper on the tube than a suicide bomber?

And where did those suicide bombers come from?...oop North. Well Northern Pakistan and then Leeds. One is a hive of Islamic militancy, full of poverty, over population and squalid living conditions and the other one is in Pakistan.

Thank you ladies and germs.

Quote: Aaron @ August 28 2009, 11:27 PM BST

Your role model!

:D

Quote: DaButt @ August 29 2009, 12:39 AM BST

I found some giant sloth bones while digging in my back yard in Florida. Extinct horse teeth and camel bones, too. Also giant armadillo plates, turtle shells and huge shark's teeth.

Awesome. The only bones I find are of dead birds, killed by local cats (or maybe foreign cats).

Off to London, no doubt. Go to London! I guarantee you'll either be mugged or not appreciated. Catch the train to London, stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway.

Not my words.

The words of Alan Gordon Partridge.

Quote: Spagett @ August 29 2009, 5:05 PM BST

Off to London, no doubt. Go to London! I guarantee you'll either be mugged or not appreciated. Catch the train to London, stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway.

Not my words.

The words of Alan Gordon Partridge.

He also described Cockney as an area of London where criminals live.

Quote: Paul W @ August 29 2009, 11:22 AM BST

What? I don't know about you but where I live people give up seats if you look a bit podgy.

Yep I'm massive.

It's quite tricky for a young child to stand on the tube, hence the seat.

I went to the natural history museum loads when I was very ickle! I liked covent garden when I went there last year. Next time I go, I hope to go to Brick lane.

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