British Comedy Guide

Insects! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh

I thought Global Warming had meant these buggers wouldn't appear this summer but i'm being molested by a Daddy Long Legs and a Moth as i'm writing this. I hate insects grrrrrrrrrrr.

Yeah and gnats and other little bitey things. Just caught two, TWO giant spiders *shudders* I'm not afraid of spiders but these f**kers were huge!

Gnats are pissing me off the most currently.

They wait until I'm almost asleep and then start buzzing around my ear. I have murdered seven this week.

I hate moths. Me scared of them. They fly & flap about like little pterodactyls. They give me the hebe jebe's. Yikes they are ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Teary

I had a moth village when I was a kid. They all died.

Did they all die in a natural disaster? How could a whole village die just like that!

I reckon a big Bush came and bombed em'. :)

i'm trying to be a good citizen and recycle my compostable waste in a green bin. but all i seem to be doing is creating a huge nest of swarming fruit flies. every time i open the bin a huge brown cloud of the little gets attacks me.

LOl. Yeah Johnny, I know what you mean.

I'm not sure - I think one of them was a little unbalanced and went on a killing spree. That or I wasn't 100% sure as a kid what moths ate and got it wrong. Probably the latter.

My mum is terrified of moths-she says theyre too hairy on their bodies :D

I don't think I should've legalised guns in the village.

You want real insects ... you should come live in a nice hot climate. Since we've been here we've had grasshoppers at around 3.5" long jumping about, caterpillars at 4" (processionary caterpillars can kill small dogs and cats), the inevitable crickets chirping all through the summer ... but you'll never get close to them, loads of praying mantis that seem (uhm) almost very intelligent ... they have articulated necks and they kind of twist their heads and stare at you as you walk past them. Then there're the boring old wasps that don't bother with you unless you happen to disturb them, spiders of all shapes and sizes , colours and 'furryness', and of course the ants. Ants far outnumber us on this planet, also there are far more by total weight. I find them fascinating ... I used to feed them sugar solution! They clear our patio of any old rubbish they find there, other dead insects, bits of dropped food, anything. Usually they do it in teams where what they're shifting would likely represent two or three guys dragging around a ton along the ground if you scaled up the relative sizes and weights. The most disgusting insects are the ticks. We live in a farming area so they make a regular appearance in Spring through early summer. Horrid things. Ugh!!! There are quite a few other dubious-looking insects we see now and again ... the worst nuisance are the beetles that dump their eggs in your favourite bit of of old furniture that you had handed from your grandparents or some-such ... and they proceed to empty out all the wood from the inside until they eventually surface leaving a single exit hole about 3cm across. Forget about woodworm ... these buggers really mean business and make a horrible crunching noise as they're destroying stuff from the inside. You know they're in there somewhere but they're almost impossible to dig out without destroying the piece altogether. I've only unearthed one or two ... they're horrible big fat maggot-like things. Eventually they exit as beetles and the whole cycle repeats itself. I think they'e something like the House Longhorn beetle that I eventually tracked down on the web.

I hate flys always go for my ears & nose,wife says I smell of sh*t that is why I attract flys.Love spiders,my friends,they like flys.
Cannot stand slugs ,get stuck to my shoes when feeding the guinea pigs& you can't pick up easily.Snails are everywhere(crunching sounds).

SLUGS. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!

They go squelch. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek

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