How NOT to write sitcom.

Dear all. Next intensive writing and information 1 day course is OCTOBER 3rd. (see writer's area)

I call myself a script mechanic. NOT a doctor. A doctor diagnoses and then writes something on a scribbly bit of paper that may or may not kill you. A mechanic fixes the problem (yeah, yeah and charges you the earth). But I see my job in this very male way. Check under the bonnet, fix it. This, I believe is what writer's need. Before you risk all those poncy vague rejections that tell you nothing - at least go in with a fighting chance.

STILL, in 85% of the scripts I get, the writer has not thought properly about
FORMAT
CONCEPT
A simple but interesting opening plot/narrative.
PLOT (again)
MARKET

I am running three one day courses to focus on these. One in October and two in November. Do get in touch: believe me, I can and will help you.

Cheers, that's £278 - cal it two fifty for cash. What d'you mean the punchline's dropped off?

Quote: Marc Blake @ August 25 2009, 3:00 PM BST

A doctor diagnoses and then writes something on a scribbly bit of paper that may or may not kill you.

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That's Tim Walker all right! Didn't know you'd read one of his scripts, though.

Dear all,

I call myself a workshop pitch mechanic. I diagnose problems with people pitching their writing workshops on comedy forums.

Believe it or not, in 85% of such pitches I've read, the writer does not tell us:

WHO they are
WHAT experience they have
WHY we should trust them with our cash
WHERE the workshops are being held

I am running three classes on this. Let's call it a monkey, first come first served.

Quote: chipolata @ August 25 2009, 3:06 PM BST

That's Tim Walker all right! Didn't know you'd read one of his scripts, though.

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Quote: Kevin Murphy @ August 25 2009, 3:07 PM BST

Dear all,

I call myself a workshop pitch mechanic. I diagnose problems with people pitching their writing workshops on comedy forums.

Believe it or not, in 85% of such pitches I've read, the writer does not tell us:

WHO they are
WHAT experience they have
WHY we should trust them with our cash
WHERE the workshops are being held

I am running three classes on this. Let's call it a monkey, first come first served.

View original

(see writer's area)

Might be aclue there. Don't know. It's just a guess.

Quote: Marc P @ August 25 2009, 3:14 PM BST

aclue

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Bless you!

I don't reply to the facetious ones.

Quote: Marc Blake @ August 25 2009, 3:59 PM BST

I don't reply to the facetious ones.

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Just some friendly trolling mate I read your profile.

Quote: Marc P @ August 25 2009, 3:14 PM BST

(see writer's area)

Might be aclue there. Don't know. It's just a guess.

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Except...

Ho Hum...

THIS IS the writers area..

Quote: Marc P @ August 25 2009, 3:14 PM BST

Might be aclue there. Don't know. It's just a guess.

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ACluE (Agglomerative Cluster Engine) is a cluster analysis program designed to search through flow cytometry data files seeking clusters of cells in mutual proximity within the multidimensional data space. The program can be switched to function on the basis of either of 2 agglomerative methods.

Quote: billwill @ August 25 2009, 4:33 PM BST

Except...

Ho Hum...

THIS IS the writers area..

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Always with the details Bill.

Quote: Morrace @ August 25 2009, 4:41 PM BST

ACluE (Agglomerative Cluster Engine) is a cluster analysis program designed to search through flow cytometry data files seeking clusters of cells in mutual proximity within the multidimensional data space. The program can be switched to function on the basis of either of 2 agglomerative methods.

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There's a cluster in it somewhere. A general one I think.

Quote: Marc P @ August 25 2009, 4:45 PM BST

There's a cluster in it somewhere.

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F**k?

Quote: chipolata @ August 25 2009, 4:49 PM BST

F**k?

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There you go.

Quote: Marc P @ August 25 2009, 4:45 PM BST

Always with the details Bill.

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Most of my writing has been technical writing.. The details ARE the thing. They have to be there, totally correct and unambiguous.

Otherwise someone might press the wrong button, click the wrong icon and blow up the world..

Or at least.. on one job I did, they might freeze and ruin £100,000 worth of fruit in a cold-room.

Sheesh you guys are pedantic. If you devoted your time to sitcoms instead of this we could remove 'Reggie' from our screens forever. And 2 Pints of lager...

The new writer's area on this site, I meant - not on this page. Gaaah

In fact. Don't come to the workshop. No. Go away