Saturday Night - Sketch

Int. Steph’s bedroom – 19.00

Steph, 18, is finishing off putting her new dress on. ‘Saturday Night’ by Whigfield is playing in the background on her stereo. Steph dances over to her full length mirror and looks at her reflection.

Steph: (Excitedly) This new dress is just soooooo good! I love it!

Steph suddenly notices something in the mirror.

Steph: (Dopey) Ooops! No lipstick!

Steph dances over to her french dresser and sings along to ‘Saturday Night’ as she goes. She does her lipstick and then squirts some perfume on to her neck.

Steph: (Coyly) Bit of perfume for the boys!

Steph giggles like an idiot, starts singing again and dances back over to the full length mirror. She looks at her reflection.

Steph: (Excitedly) Oh! I just look absadabsaloutely perfect!

Steph starts doing a gleeful dance on the spot. As this is going on, Steph’s dad walks in the room. Steph spins round to face him and starts dancing to the music.

Steph: Hey Daddy!

Dad: (Mildly angry) What the hell is going on in here?!

Steph: Well, Daddykins, I am 18 and it is Saturday night after all, so…..

Dad: (Interrupting and in despair) Oh God! Not again!

Steph: (Continuing) So, I’m just getting ready for a night out with the girlies!

Dad: (Plainly) But, Steph. You’re the most unpopular girl in town. You don’t actually have any friends, do you.

Steph stops dancing and begins welling up.

Steph: (Upset) No, no! It’s not true. It’s not!

Dad: (Annoyedd) It’s the same thing, every Saturday night! You make all this fuss, you get as far as the front door and then run back upstairs sobbing your heart out.

Steph trudges over to her stereo and presses a button. The music stops. Steph looks sadly at the floor

Dad: (Relieved) Peace at last! Anyway, your mother and I are off out to the circus. We’ll be back about 10. Bye!
Dad departs and as he does some new music starts up on the stereo. It is ‘I hate myself and want to die’ by Nirvana. Steph pulls a gun out from under her bed and holds it to the side of her head with her eyes shut.

Screen fades to black and all that is heard is Nirvana playing, a squeal from Steph and finally a gunshot.

If only Grandad had a bit more energy he could have saved Steph..

There will not much for one of the lead characters to do in episode two of the series.

always a weird twist to your sketches isn't there winterlight?... something your not telling us?

I liked it very good.

Theres a girl in my town whos a loner and goes out with "workmates" and we bet our mates to get off with her for a pint.

Thats a sketch in itself!

This sketch is vaguely based on someone I used to know who would go up town on his own on friday nights. Then I started thinking "Wouldn't it be funny if he got all dressed up and then just stayed in on his own all night". 6 years later I finally decided to write it and make some minor changes.

I was trying to figure out what is funny about this sketch earlier. The dialogue isn't particularly funny, but I think its the horrifically bizarre situation and ending that raises a smirk.

And yes, there usually is a weird twist to my sketches! No skeletons in my closet though - just a twisted sense of humour.

Funnily enough, the sitcom I'm writing at the moment is a million miles away from the material I've posted on here. Very traditional sorta sitcom and virtually no obscenity in it.