A BIG SUMMERY STRAWBERRY FARM SOMEWHERE IN ENGLANDSHIRE, SOME PEOPLE ARE PICKING THEIR OWN FRUIT AND SOME OF THE FRUIT PICKERS ARE CLEARLY IMMIGRANT WORKERS.
A COUPLE TIM AND LIN ARE CHATTING TO THE FARMER.
LIN
I love these pick your own, you really get to choose exactly what you want.
TIM
Just as long as it's not your nose!
LIN
Oh Tim, now farmer your product is all organic and seasonal?
FARMER
Aye and we only use traditional product, no GM muck.
TIM
Lovely and none of them are smokers?
FARMER
Smokers? How can a strawberry smoke?
LIN
Oh we don't want your strawberries. I thought this was pick your own organs.
FARMER
No it's pick your own organic strawberries! You can't be filleting my Rumanian workers, there must be an EU directive on that!
TIM
That is a shame it did seem a bit unlikely when we spotted the sign from the M7.
FARMER
Hold yee horses there how much would you be paying?
TIM
Liver and a pancreas about 15 grand?
FARMER
Hmm that'd pay for my swines I had to put down. You know what I'll get me shotgun.
LIN
Super, oh do you really have to shoot one of them?
FARMER
Well you can't pick many strawberries with out a pancreas. So if ye don't mind me asking which one of you is it for?
TIM
Oh neither of us. It's Svetlana she's got cancer.
FARMER
She's your mother?
LIN
No silly our dog walker. Scamper and Reginald love her so much and you don't dump a Range Rover when the Big End's gone.
TIM
No dear. Shall we pick some strawberries? Now farmer are these really organic?
FARMER
No.
LIN
You evil bastard.