British Comedy Guide

How (not) to write for radio

Just let your imagination go...

INT. ROOM

PETER IS IN THE ROOM

PAUL ENTERS

PETER: Hi.

PAUL: How's it going then.

PETER: Not too bad, take a look.

PAUL: Hey, that's looking good.

PETER: Can you pass me that....

PAUL: This one?

PETER: No, the one next to it. Thanks.

PAUL: Oh, I see what you're doing.

PETER: Yeah. I thought I'd try it like this.

PAUL: Will that make a difference then?

PETER: I believe so, I'm about to try it.

MARY ENTERS

MARY: Here we are lads, one each!

PETER: Ah, great. Thanks Mary.

PAUL: Yeah, thanks Mary.

MARY: How's it coming along?

PETER: OK I think, we're going to try it in a minute.

PAUL: Oh, that was great Mary. Any chance of another one?

PETER: One for me too, please.

MARY: No problem. Back in a mo.

MARY LEAVES

PETER: Shall we wait for her to come back?

PAUL: Nah, let's go for it.

PETER: Ready?

PAUL: Yep.

PETER: Here goes then.

PAUL: Wow!

PETER: Hey, that's really good!

PAUL: I didn't expect it to be that much of an improvement.

MARY ENTERS

MARY: Here we are......oh, my goodness! You've done it!

PAUL: Yeah, really good, huh?

MARY: I guess you won't be needing these then?

PETER: No.

PAUL: Erm, no.

END

That really amused me for some reason. I could just imagine it being said really fast, while the actors rushed through their scene

As you say, Geoff, 'Just let your imagination go...' Nice bit of radio porn there.

Very clever with natural dialogue. Not a belter but a clever idea and very amusing! :)

There's a Samuel Beckett radio play like this, isn't there? Where the characters discuss something and we never learn what it is?

Quote: Godot Taxis @ August 21 2009, 11:59 PM BST

There's a Samuel Beckett radio play like this, isn't there? Where the characters discuss something and we never learn what it is?

You're probably right. I'd be most surprised if I came up with a totally original idea.

This is GREAT! I loved the bit with the dying penguin.

Quote: Morrace @ August 21 2009, 11:50 PM BST

Very clever with natural dialogue. Not a belter but a clever idea and very amusing! :)

The script has no gags, so the amusement must be in the imagination of the reader. Or something.

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ August 22 2009, 12:11 AM BST

This is GREAT! I loved the bit with the dying penguin.

It was a dying waiter! (dying his socks blue)

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ August 22 2009, 12:11 AM BST

This is GREAT! I loved the bit with the dying penguin.

Shhh! Don't spoil it for everyone, Kevin.

That was fun and clever.

(The penguin made it for me.)

This is very good but I seemed to have missed the penguin

Quote: Godot Taxis @ August 21 2009, 11:59 PM BST

the characters discuss something and we never learn what it is

I thought it was obvious that they were trying out vaseline as a cure for constipation.

I really really liked this. Quite Cowardsish. Except it had a woman in it.

Share this page