Chipolata's started carrying around a padlock for protection. Anyobody messes with him: WHAMMO!! PADLOCK SURPRISE RIGHT UP YOUR HOOTER!
Status report Page 1,047
Did you go to Yale?
No.
(Whack!)
Well you did now, motherf**ker!
Quote: Leevil @ August 21 2009, 9:38 AM BSTDid you go to Yale?
No.
(Whack!)
Well you did now, motherf**ker!
I'll use that, although the Yale reference my be lost on Harry Hoodie and his friend, Arnie Asbo.
Quote: chipolata @ August 21 2009, 9:39 AM BST
I'll use that, although the Yale reference my be lost on Harry Hoodie and his friend, Arnie Asbo.
I hear Rapey Rambo also hangs out with those guys.
Quote: EllieJP @ August 21 2009, 9:40 AM BSTI hear Rapey Rambo also hangs out with those guys.
He tries violating me: WHAMMO!! PADLOCK SURPRISE!!
Quote: chipolata @ August 21 2009, 9:47 AM BSTHe tries violating me: WHAMMO!! PADLOCK SURPRISE!!
Quote: chipolata @ August 21 2009, 9:47 AM BSTHe tries violating me: WHAMMO!! PADLOCK SURPRISE!!
Bloody kids with their padlocks. Tcha!
Right, I'm off for an afternoon of meetings. Have a good weekend, everyone. 
My argument with the dustman this morning -
I notcie the dustman collecting rubbish this morning and to my horror my bins are not outside yet so I start to do what needs to be done. Dustman approaches -
Dustman - All bins have to be on the pavement by 7.30am
Me - Dont be a wally mate
Dustman - What?
Me - What difference does it make if I do it 2 minutes before u get here or an hour?
Dustman - Its the law
Me - Thats a lie
Dustman - (Angrily) By law your bins have to be on the pavement by 7.30am or they are not collected
Me - I would love to see that law.
I start to walk off. Turn back.
Me - Just quickly, how do u know if the bin is on the pavement by 7.30am, should u have been here by 7.30am this morning because is so ur running a little late or do u personally go round all the streets checking?
Silence
Me - Didn't think so. Have a good day.
I don't know Darren! We don't see you for weeks and then it's moan, moan, moan! 
Quote: Darren Pomroy @ August 21 2009, 1:41 PM BSTMy argument with the dustman this morning -
I notcie the dustman collecting rubbish this morning and to my horror my bins are not outside yet so I start to do what needs to be done. Dustman approaches -
Dustman - All bins have to be on the pavement by 7.30am
Me - Dont be a wally mate
Dustman - What?
Me - What difference does it make if I do it 2 minutes before u get here or an hour?
Dustman - Its the law
Me - Thats a lie
Dustman - (Angrily) By law your bins have to be on the pavement by 7.30am or they are not collected
Me - I would love to see that law.I start to walk off. Turn back.
Me - Just quickly, how do u know if the bin is on the pavement by 7.30am, should u have been here by 7.30am this morning because is so ur running a little late or do u personally go round all the streets checking?
Silence
Me - Didn't think so. Have a good day.
I want to see that law too.
Binmen are generally wankers, than again I have brided a couple to my time to move something bigger than my bed...
I think you went wrong at the "don't be a wally bit" Darren. You should have just been sweet and innocent and ever so nice and he would have taken the bins no problem. 
Binmen are vindictive! You'll find out when you part the curtains in the morning to find dirty nappy and old bean tin mountain on the front lawn. Something the Simpsons have taught us. 
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ August 21 2009, 1:51 PM BSTI think you went wrong at the "don't be a wally bit" Darren. You should have just been sweet and innocent and ever so nice and he would have taken the bins no problem.
Agreed.
Quote: Nil Putters @ August 21 2009, 2:00 PM BSTAgreed.
Yes, I mean 'Wally' is so '80s. What you really needed to do was call him 'geezer' or 'chap' or 'cocksucker'. They tend to respond better to that kind of thing.