Quote: sootyj @ July 17 2009, 3:11 PM BSTPorn books in libraries are addictive, you can't put them down.
Elderly relatives are also addictive, you can't put them down.
Just heard this joke... Page 2
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who floats in the sea?
Bob.
Quote: David Bussell @ July 17 2009, 12:36 PM BSTHow many writers does it take to change a light bulb?
IT DOESN'T FUCKING NEED CHANGING!
I went to a wedding at the weekend. Two aerials got married. The reception was brilliant.
Quote: Geoff Mutton @ July 17 2009, 11:43 AM BSTWe all hear jokes. Many are worth sharing. Perhaps we can share them in this thread. I'll start.
My mate was walking past Waterstones yesterday when he noticed they were advertising "A Third Off All Titles".
He went in and bought himself a copy of "The Witch and The Wardrobe".
Over to you.
I saw that offer. I bought myself the Orwell classic 1322.666666(recurring)
I went into Asda and it said 'Pants half off' - so I pulled down my pants...
...and had a shit.
In a pram.
Quote: Geoff Mutton @ July 17 2009, 11:43 AM BSTWe all hear jokes. Many are worth sharing. Perhaps we can share them in this thread. I'll start.
My mate was walking past Waterstones yesterday when he noticed they were advertising "A Third Off All Titles".
He went in and bought himself a copy of "The Witch and The Wardrobe".
Over to you.
Love it- reminiscent of Michael Redmond's remark about ringing up a library and they said: 'can I help you?,'
'No I'm just browsing'
Also is the definition of countryside the killing of Piers Morgan?
(Courtesy of Stephen Fry)
Quote: Geoff Mutton @ August 19 2009, 2:02 PM BSTI went to a wedding at the weekend. Two aerials got married. The reception was brilliant.
I went to a wedding at the weekend. A.E.Rial married Anne Tenna; the reception was brilliant.
What do you call a sandpaper condom?
An organ grinder.
Thank you, good night!
Quote: youngian @ August 19 2009, 3:41 PM BSTAlso is the definition of countryside the killing of Piers Morgan?
(Courtesy of Stephen Fry)
I had to read that three or four times.
Mick and Paddy walking down a road.
MICK: Jesus Paddy, you're walking quick, I can hardly keep up.
PADDY: Ah, you should be with me when I'm on my own, I walk a lot quicker then!