I'm a bit pissed so I'll probably regret posting this little sketch up. But cut me some slack, I only thought of it ten minutes ago.
EXT / INT. DESERTED COUNTRY LANE. DAY.
A MAN (MIKE) PULLS UP IN A LAYBY ON A DESERTED STRETCH OF B-ROAD AND TURNS THE ENGINE OFF. HE REACHES INTO HIS POCKET AND PULLS OUT A HANDFUL OF COURT DOCUMENTS, ONE OF WHICH READS "DECREE ABSOLUTE - CONFIRMATION OF DIVORCE". HE LOOKS AT HIMSELF IMPASSIVELY IN THE REAR-VIEW MIRROR. WE HEAR HIS WIFE'S VOICE AS HE STARES AT HIS OWN REFLECTION.
MIKE'S WIFE:
(OVERLAPPING, ECHOEY VOICE: You'll never amount to anything Micheal! Why do you always make the wrong decisions? Can't you do anything right? For God's sake Mikey, get a grip!
HE GETS OUT OF THE CAR, OPENS THE BOOT, AND TAKES OUT A LENGTH OF HOSEPIPE. HE STUFF ONE END UP THE CAR EXHAUST AND FEEDS THE OTHER END THROUGH THE DRIVER WINDOW, WINDING IT UP FROM THE INSIDE SO IT HOLDS THE HOSE IN PLACE. HE GETS BACK IN THE CAR, KISSES A PHOTO OF HIS EX-WIFE, CLOSES HIS EYES, AND TURNS THE ENGINE ON.
BRIGHT YELLOW CUSTARD SPURTS OUT OF THE HOSEPIPE, COVERING HIS FACE. HE SIGHS.
CUT TO THE OUTSIDE OF HIS CAR WHERE WE SEE A STICKER ON THE SIDE THAT READS "BOBO THE CLOWN CAR HIRE".
You should drink more often, 'tis a good one.
