British Comedy Guide

Best Stories Within Songs? Page 3

Some very good lyrics and some groups I hadn't heard of - thanks for the link SlagA.

"Hurricane" by Bob Dylan and "Richard Cory" and "The Boxer" by Simon & Garfunkel spring to mind. I espcially like "I have squandered my resistance
For a pocket full of mumbles such are promises"

RICHARD CORY

They say that Richard Cory owns one half of this whole town,
With political connections to spread his wealth around.
Born into society, a banker's only child,
He had everything a man could want: power, grace, and style.

But I work in his factory
And I curse the life I'm living
And I curse my poverty
And I wish that I could be,
Oh, I wish that I could be,
Oh, I wish that I could be
Richard Cory.

The papers print his picture almost everywhere he goes:
Richard Cory at the opera, Richard Cory at a show.
And the rumor of his parties and the orgies on his yacht!
Oh, he surely must be happy with everything he's got.

But I work in his factory
And I curse the life I'm living
And I curse my poverty
And I wish that I could be,
Oh, I wish that I could be,
Oh, I wish that I could be
Richard Cory.

He freely gave to charity, he had the common touch,
And they were grateful for his patronage and thanked him very much,
So my mind was filled with wonder when the evening headlines read:
"Richard Cory went home last night and put a bullet through his head."

But I work in his factory
And I curse the life I'm living
And I curse my poverty
And I wish that I could be,
Oh, I wish that I could be,
Oh, I wish that I could be
Richard Cory.

THE BOXER
I am just a poor boy
Though my story's seldom told
I have squandered my resistance
For a pocket full of mumbles such are promises
All lies and jests
Still a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the rest
When I left my home and my family
I was no more than a boy
In the company of strangers
In the quiet of the railway station running scared
Laying low, seeking out the poorer quarters
Where the ragged people go
Looking for the places only they would know
Lie la lie ...
Asking only workman's wages
I come looking for a job
But I get no offers,
Just a come-on from the whores on Seventh Avenue
I do declare, there were times when I was so lonesome
I took some comfort there
Lie la lie ...
Then I'm laying out my winter clothes
And wishing I was gone
Going home
Where the New York City winters aren't bleeding me
Bleeding me, going home
In the clearing stands a boxer
And a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of ev'ry glove that layed him down
Or cut him till he cried out
In his anger and his shame
"I am leaving, I am leaving"
But the fighter still remains
Lie la lie ...

HURRICANE
Pistol shots ring out in the barroom night
Enter Patty Valentine from the upper hall.
She sees the bartender in a pool of blood,
Cries out, "My God, they killed them all!"
Here comes the story of the Hurricane,
The man the authorities came to blame
For somethin' that he never done.
Put in a prison cell, but one time he could-a been
The champion of the world.

Three bodies lyin' there does Patty see
And another man named Bello, movin' around mysteriously.
"I didn't do it," he says, and he throws up his hands
"I was only robbin' the register, I hope you understand.
I saw them leavin'," he says, and he stops
"One of us had better call up the cops."
And so Patty calls the cops
And they arrive on the scene with their red lights flashin'
In the hot New Jersey night.

Meanwhile, far away in another part of town
Rubin Carter and a couple of friends are drivin' around.
Number one contender for the middleweight crown
Had no idea what kinda shit was about to go down
When a cop pulled him over to the side of the road
Just like the time before and the time before that.
In Paterson that's just the way things go.
If you're black you might as well not show up on the street
'Less you wanna draw the heat.

Alfred Bello had a partner and he had a rap for the cops.
Him and Arthur Dexter Bradley were just out prowlin' around
He said, "I saw two men runnin' out, they looked like middleweights
They jumped into a white car with out-of-state plates."
And Miss Patty Valentine just nodded her head.
Cop said, "Wait a minute, boys, this one's not dead"
So they took him to the infirmary
And though this man could hardly see
They told him that he could identify the guilty men.

Four in the mornin' and they haul Rubin in,
Take him to the hospital and they bring him upstairs.
The wounded man looks up through his one dyin' eye
Says, "Wha'd you bring him in here for? He ain't the guy!"
Yes, here's the story of the Hurricane,
The man the authorities came to blame
For somethin' that he never done.
Put in a prison cell, but one time he could-a been
The champion of the world.

Four months later, the ghettos are in flame,
Rubin's in South America, fightin' for his name
While Arthur Dexter Bradley's still in the robbery game
And the cops are puttin' the screws to him, lookin' for somebody to blame.
"Remember that murder that happened in a bar?"
"Remember you said you saw the getaway car?"
"You think you'd like to play ball with the law?"
"Think it might-a been that fighter that you saw runnin' that night?"
"Don't forget that you are white."

Arthur Dexter Bradley said, "I'm really not sure."
Cops said, "A poor boy like you could use a break
We got you for the motel job and we're talkin' to your friend Bello
Now you don't wanta have to go back to jail, be a nice fellow.
You'll be doin' society a favor.
That sonofabitch is brave and gettin' braver.
We want to put his ass in stir
We want to pin this triple murder on him
He ain't no Gentleman Jim."

Rubin could take a man out with just one punch
But he never did like to talk about it all that much.
It's my work, he'd say, and I do it for pay
And when it's over I'd just as soon go on my way
Up to some paradise
Where the trout streams flow and the air is nice
And ride a horse along a trail.
But then they took him to the jail house
Where they try to turn a man into a mouse.

All of Rubin's cards were marked in advance
The trial was a pig-circus, he never had a chance.
The judge made Rubin's witnesses drunkards from the slums
To the white folks who watched he was a revolutionary bum
And to the black folks he was just a crazy nigger.
No one doubted that he pulled the trigger.
And though they could not produce the gun,
The D.A. said he was the one who did the deed
And the all-white jury agreed.

Rubin Carter was falsely tried.
The crime was murder "one," guess who testified?
Bello and Bradley and they both baldly lied
And the newspapers, they all went along for the ride.
How can the life of such a man
Be in the palm of some fool's hand?
To see him obviously framed
Couldn't help but make me feel ashamed to live in a land
Where justice is a game.

Now all the criminals in their coats and their ties
Are free to drink martinis and watch the sun rise
While Rubin sits like Buddha in a ten-foot cell
An innocent man in a living hell.
That's the story of the Hurricane,
But it won't be over till they clear his name
And give him back the time he's done.
Put in a prison cell, but one time he could-a been
The champion of the world.

This is my favourite..."I Hung My Head" by Johnny Cash. I think Sting wrote it, but I still like it anyway

I Hung My Head

Early one morning
With time to kill
I borrowed Jebb's rifle
And sat on a hill
I saw a lone rider
Crossing the plain
I drew a bead on him
To practice my aim

My brother's rifle
Went of in my hand
A shot rang out
Across the land
The horse, he kept running
The rider was dead
I hung my head
I hung my head

I set off running
To wake from the dream
My brother's rifle
Went into the sheen
I kept on running
Into the south lands
That's where they found me
My head and my hands

The sheriff he asked me
Why had I run
And then it came to me
Just what I had done
And all for no reason
Just one peace of lead
I hung my head
I hung my head

Here in the court house
The whole town was there
I see the judge
High up in the chair
Explain to the court room
What went through you mind
And we'll ask the jury
What verdict they find

I felt the power
Of death over life
I orphaned his children
I widowed his wife
I begged their forgiveness
I wish I was dead
I hung my head
I hung my head

I hung my head
I hung my head

Early one morning
With time to kill
I see the gallows
Up on a hill
And out in the distance
A trick of the brain
I see a lone rider
Crossing the plain

And he'd come to fetch me
To see what they'd done
And we'd ride together
To kingdom come
I prayed for god's mercy
For soon I'd be dead
I hung my head
I hung my head

I hung my head
I hung my head

I quite like list songs that essentially just list things. Like Billy Joel's We Didn't Start The Fire.

What, no Velvet Underground (The Gift) or Leonard Cohen (Story of Isaac)?

BOD DYLAN

Drive my Car- The Beatles.

This woman wants this man to drive her car. He is really up for it and gets ready for work, but the woman informs him she hasn't got a car, but she's got a driver and that's a start.

Pure Lennon & McCartney genius.

It's more the climax of a story but it's some fantastic lyrics and an absolutely awesome song: The Ballad of Robert Moore and Betty Coltrane by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds.

I'd love to see a film leading up to this climax.

Billy Bragg - The Short Answer

(A lovely song about how us blokes just don't get women sometimes...)

Between Marx and Marzipan in the dictionary there was Mary
Between the Deep Blue Sea and the Devil that was me
If ever anyone could help me with my obsession with
The young Suzannah York
It was Mary

In my pink pyjamas she asked me for something
I gave her the short answer
She read our stars out loud
And I knew then that we should have gone sailing
But we stayed home instead
Fighting on the waterbed
Like the honeymoon couple on drugs
Me and Mary

What happened in the past
Remained a mystery of natural history
She should have been the last
But she was just the latest
If she wanted to be a farmer's wife
I would endure that muddy life
I would Dig For Victory

And the sound of happy couples
Coupling happily in the dark
While you and I sat down to tea
I remember you said to me
That no amount of poetry
Would mend this broken heart
But you can put the Hoover round
If you want to make a start

All my friends from school
Introduce me to their spouses
While I'm left standing here
With my hands down the front of my trousers
I just don't know what's to be done
I wonder sometimes how did Dad meet Mum
And how did they conceive of me?
Tell my Mary

The boys who came to the shop
Always made her laugh much more than I did
When I told her this must stop
She didn't bat an eyelid
She said you know honey it's such a shame
You'll never be any good at this game
You bruise too easily
So said Mary

Her two brothers took me out
Of circulation for the duration
So we went our separate ways but does she still love me -
She still has my door key?
Like a bully boy in a Benetton shop
You're never happy with what you've go
Till what you've got is gone
Sorry Mary

Almost anything by Morrissey who's been quoted on here quite a bit already.

I think Eminem writes some great lyrics.

'97 Bonnie and Clyde"
C'mon Hai-Hai, we goin to the beach
Grab a couple of toys and let da-da strap you in the car seat
Oh where's mama? She's takin a little nap in the trunk
Oh that smell (whew!) da-da musta runned over a skunk
Now I know what you're thinkin - it's kind of late to go swimmin
But you know your mama, she's one of those type of women
that do crazy things, and if she don't get her way, she'll throw a fit
Don't play with da-da's toy knife, honey, let go of it (no!)
And don't look so upset, why you actin bashful?
Don't you wanna help da-da build a sand castle? (yeah!)
And mama said she wants to show how far she can float
And don't worry about that little boo-boo on her throat
It's just a little scratch - it don't hurt, her was eatin
dinner while you were sleepin and spilled ketchup on her shirt
Mama's messy isn't she? We'll let her wash off in the water
and me and you can play by ourselves, can't we?

And for a more mellow mood a bit of Suzanne Vega

"Small Blue Thing"

Today I am
A small blue thing
Like a marble
Or an eye

With my knees against my mouth
I am perfectly round
I am watching you

I am cold against your skin
You are perfectly reflected
I am lost inside your pocket
I am lost against
Your fingers

I am falling down the stairs
I am skipping on the sidewalk
I am thrown against the sky

I am raining down in pieces
I am scattering like light
Scattering like light
Scattering like light

The first writer I loved though was Marc Almond - all that teen angst

It's a mugs game

And you find yourself having sex
In the back of a car
And the girl underneath
Doesn't care who you are
And you're nearly there
And she still doesn't care
And her chewing gum
Is getting stuck in your hair
And there's something wrong
Something that you forgot
Oh Shit, you've forgotten the rubber
And you don't want a kid
Well, deny it was you
Oh Christ, if your dad finds out
Then he'll make you stay in
And do your homework
And cut your hair
And wear your school uniform
Out in the street
What a fate worse than death
Oh well he can't hit you
You can hit him back
And play your records so loud
All the ones that he especially hates
Deep Purple in Rock, Led Zeppelin II
Well even you hate those
Well on second thoughts
I think I'll leave home
And go and live in America
Because they earn more money there
And you can get away with murder - Yeah!

Oh this is a Mugs game
I can't wait until I'm twenty one
And I can tell them all to sod off.

Wave

(The late, great) Warren Zevon - Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner

A personal favourite from Mr Zevon, a story which has never been fully explained...

Roland was a warrior from the Land of the Midnight Sun
With a Thompson gun for hire, fighting to be done
The deal was made in Denmark on a dark and stormy day
So he set out for Biafra to join the bloody fray

Through sixty-six and seven they fought the Congo war
With their fingers on their triggers, knee-deep in gore
For days and nights they battled the Bantu to their knees
They killed to earn their living and to help out the Congolese

Roland the Thompson gunner...

His comrades fought beside him - Van Owen and the rest
But of all the Thompson gunners, Roland was the best
So the CIA decided they wanted Roland dead
That son-of-a-bitch Van Owen blew off Roland's head

Time, time, time
For another peaceful war
But time stands still for Roland
'Til he evens up the score
They can still see his headless body stalking through the night
In the muzzle flash of Roland's Thompson gun
In the muzzle flash of Roland's Thompson gun

Roland searched the continent for the man who'd done him in
He found him in Mombassa in a bar room drinking gin
Roland aimed his Thompson gun - he didn't say a word
But he blew Van Owen's body from there to Johannesburg

Roland the headless Thompson gunner...

The eternal Thompson gunner
Still wandering through the night
Now it's ten years later but he still keeps up the fight
In Ireland, in Lebanon, in Palestine and Berkeley
Patty Hearst heard the burst of Roland's Thompson gun and bought it

Quote: sootyj @ December 29 2008, 11:50 PM BST

Hello, boys and girls, this is your old pal Stinky Wizzleteats. This is a
song about a whale-no! This is a song about being happy. That's right!
It's the Happy Happy Joy Joy song!

CHORUS
Happy happy joy joy
Happy happy joy joy
Happy happy joy joy
Happy happy joy joy
Happy happy joy joy
Happy happy joy joy
Happy happy joy joy joy

I don't think you're happy enough. That's right! I'll teach you to be
happy. I'll teach your grandmother to suck eggs.

CHORUS

If'n you ain' the graddaddy of all liars. The little critters of nature
they don't know that they're ugly. That's very funny! A fly marrying a
bumblebee. I told you I'd shoot! But you didn't believe me. Why didn't you
believe me?

CHORUS

Happy happy happy happy
Happy happy happy happy
Happy happy joy joy joy

Sooty, you have been, and always will be, the man.

Always liked Frank's Wild Years by Tom Waits

Frank settled down in the Valley,
and he hung his wild years on a
nail that he drove through his
wife's forehead.

He sold used office furniture out
there on San Fernando Road and
assumed a $30,000 loan at
15 1/4 % and put a down payment
on a little two bedroom place.

His wife was a spent piece of used jet trash
Made good bloody-marys, kept her mouth
shut most of the time, had a little Chihuahua
named Carlos that had some kind of skin
disease and was totally blind.

They had a thoroughly modern kitchen;
self-cleaning oven (the whole bit)
Frank drove a little sedan.
They were so happy.

One night Frank was on his way home
from work, stopped at the liquor store,
picked up a couple of Mickey's Big Mouth's.
Drank 'em in the car on his way to the
Shell station; he got a gallon of gas in a can.

Drove home, doused everything in
the house, torched it.
Parked across the street laughing,
watching it burn, all Halloween
orange and chimney red.

Frank put on a top forty station,
got on the Hollywood Freeway
headed North.

Never could stand that dog.

Very few songs get a Sean Penn directed film made out of them but Bruce Springsteen's Highway Patrol featuring police Sgt Joe Roberts his no good brother Frankie became Indian Runners.

Gorillaz - Fire Coming Out Of The Monkey's Head

Once upon a time at the foot of a great mountain,
there was a town where the people known as Happyfolk lived,
their very existence a mystery to the rest of the world,
obscured as it was by shit clouds.
Here they played out their peaceful lives,
innocent of the litany of excess and violence that was growing in the world below.
To live in harmony with the spirit of the mountain called Monkey was enough.
Then one day Strangefolk arrived in the town.
They came in camouflage, hidden behind dark glasses, but no one noticed them: they only saw shadows.
You see, without the Truth of the Eyes, the Happyfolk were blind.

Falling out of aeroplanes and hiding out in holes
Waiting for the sunset to come, people going home
Jump back from behind them and shoot them in the head
Now everybody dancing the dance of the dead,
the dance of the dead,
the dance of the dead

In time, Strangefolk found their way into the high reaches of the mountain,
and it was there that they found the caves of unimaginable Sincerity and Beauty.
By chance, they stumbled upon the Place Where All Good Souls Come to Rest.
The Strangefolk, they coveted the jewels in these caves above all things,
and soon they began to mine the mountain, its rich seam fueling the chaos of their own world.
Meanwhile, down in the town, the Happyfolk slept restlessly,
their dreams invaded by shadowy figures digging away at their souls.
Every day, people would wake and stare at the mountain.
Why was it bringing darkness into their lives?
And as the Strangefolk mined deeper and deeper into the mountain,
holes began to appear, bringing with them a cold and bitter wind that chilled the very soul of them up.
For the first time, the Happyfolk felt fearful for they knew that soon the Monkey would soon stir from its deep sleep.
And then came a sound. Distant first, it grew into castrophany so immense it could be heard far away in space.
There were no screams. There was no time.
The mountain called Monkey had spoken.
There was only fire.
And then, nothing.

O little town in U.S.A, your time has come to see
There's nothing you believe you want
But where were you when it all came down on me?
Did you call me now?

This was my favourite song to play on Halloween during my DJ days...

Camouflage by Ridgway Stan

I was a PFC on a search patrol huntin' Charlie down
It was in the jungle wars of '65
My weapon jammed and I got stuck way out and all alone
And I could hear the enemy movin' in close outside
Just then I heard a twig snap and I grabbed my empty gun
And I dug in scared while I counted down my fate
And then a big marine, a giant with a pair of friendly eyes
Appeared there at my shoulder and said wait

When he came in close beside me he said,
"Don't worry, son, I'm here,
If Charlie wants to tangle now he'll have two to dodge."
I said, "Well thanks a lot."
I told him my name and asked him his
And he said, "The boys just call me Camouflage."

Whoa Camouflage
Things are never quite the way they seem
Whoa Camouflage
I was awfully glad to see this big marine

We fought all night and side by side we took our battle stance
and I wondered how the bullets missed this man
'Cause they seemed to go right through him
As if he wasn't there
And in the mornin' we both took a chance and ran

And it was near the river bank when the ambush came on top of us
And I'd thought it was the end and we were had
Then a bullet with my name on it came buzzin' through a bush
And that big marine he just swat it with his hand

Whoa Camouflage
Things are never quite the way they seem
Whoa Camouflage
Was I awfully glad to see this big marine

And I knew there was something weird about him
'Cause when I turned around he was pullin' a big palm tree
Right up out of the ground
And swattin' those Charlies with it from here to Kingdom Come

When he led me out of danger
I saw my camp and waved goodbye
But he just winked at me from the jungle and then was gone
And when I got back to my HQ, I told 'em about my night
And the battle I'd spent with a big marine named Camouflage

When I said his name a soldier gulped
And a medic took my arm
And led me to a green tent on the right
He said, "You may be tellin' the truth boy,
But this here is Camouflage,
And he's been right here since he passed away last night."
But before he went he said, "Semper Fi,"
And said his only wish
Was to save a young marine caught in a barrage
So here, take his dog tag son,
I know he'd want you to have it now."
And we both said a prayer for a big marine named Camouflage

Whoa Camouflage
things are never quite the way they seem
Whoa Camouflage
I was awfully glad to see this big marine

Without boring you with the lyrics, I like Highwayman by The Highwaymen.

Also, could someone explain the meaning of Mike Oldfield's Moonlight Shadow lyrics? I'm guessing it's a murder but would like to know more.

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