Metal Detector Quickie

Just thought of it a second ago:

EXT. BEACH. DAY

[A SCRUFFY LOOKING MAN WEARING A DENIM JACKET AND A BASEBALL CAP IS WALKING UP AND DOWN A BEACH WITH A METAL DETECTOR. THE METAL DETECTOR STARTS BEEPING AND THE MAN BECOMES EXCITED AND BEGINS TO DIG WITH A SHOVEL. AFTER A FEW QUICK DIGS WITH HIS SHOVEL, THE MAN IS IN SHOCK.]

[REVEALS THAT THE MAN HAS UNCOVERED THE SKELETON OF ANOTHER PERSON WITH A METAL DETECTOR. THE SKELETON IS WEARING A SIMILIAR SCRUFFY DENIM JACKET AND BASEBALL CAP TO WHAT HE IS. THE MAN BEGINS TO RUN AWAY IN FRIGHT.]

Perhaps he didn't follow the advice of Man of the Year Norman House to stay clear of cheap metal detectors as they have a tendency to detect themselves.

Quote: Luke @ August 10 2009, 3:51 PM BST

Just thought of it a second ago:

EXT. BEACH. DAY

[A SCRUFFY LOOKING MAN WEARING A DENIM JACKET AND A BASEBALL CAP IS WALKING UP AND DOWN A BEACH WITH A METAL DETECTOR. THE METAL DETECTOR STARTS BEEPING AND THE MAN BECOMES EXCITED AND BEGINS TO DIG WITH A SHOVEL. AFTER A FEW QUICK DIGS WITH HIS SHOVEL, THE MAN IS IN SHOCK.]

[REVEALS THAT THE MAN HAS UNCOVERED THE SKELETON OF ANOTHER PERSON WITH A METAL DETECTOR. THE SKELETON IS WEARING A SIMILIAR SCRUFFY DENIM JACKET AND BASEBALL CAP TO WHAT HE IS. THE MAN BEGINS TO RUN AWAY IN FRIGHT.]

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I quite like it. What do you think about: [HE BENDS DOWN TO LOOK CLOSER; THE SKELETONS HAND GRABS HIM AROUND THE THROAT; HE FLOPS DOWN IN EXACT SAME POSITION NEXT TO SKELETON] I dunno just an idea, just thought you could have taken it a bit further rather than have him just run away.

Yeah. not bad. Why would he run away though? Wouldn't you just just smile wryly?

He saw a skeleton which looked like you, would you smile wryly or would you be a bit frightened

Although I admit, maybe it could do with a bigger finish...but I wouldn't want to go too surreal with it. (Skeleton grabs him)

Maybe he initially looks at the skeleton with fright, but on closer inspection he see's a ring that looks quite nice and nicks it.

He should nick the metal detector, because it's a better model.

He still hasn't found any gold and he's saddled with a detector that led to it's owner's death.

The circle is closed.

Reminds me of one that I wrote. Metal detectorists finding a metal detector.

https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/post/155419

Wouldn't it be better if he just didn't have any reaction what so ever, and then just slipped off a gold ring off the skeleton and carried on walking, whistling his dog along...

I thought it was going to another man with a metal detector only alive, who nonchalantly dusts himself down and carries on detecting.

It's a nice clean sketch though and doesn't need changing IMO.

I thought it was going to be a Led Zepellin LP