Weird Sisters.

EXT. THE BLASTED HEATH. DUSK.

THE WEIRD SISTERS, NAN, MEG AND BET, ARE GATHERED AROUND A CAULDRON.

ALL
Double, double, toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

BET
Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of...

NAN
This fenny snake tastes like chicken.

MEG
People say that don't they?

NAN
Yes but this particular fenny snake appears to have drumsticks. You've been messing with the recipe again haven't you?

BET
It is my own interpretation of a classic dish.

MEG
Fennysnake are a terrible price and there is really nothing on them.

BET
Tell me about it. And newts' eyes - four groats a dozen!

NAN
You didn't...?

BET
Capers. They add a lovely piquant touch.

MEG
How clever! And for the toe of frog...anchovies?

BET
That's right!

NAN
So basically we are attempting to summon Hecate with a Chicken Puttanesca?

MEG
She has a point. Do we really know if Hecate even likes Italian?

NAN
This is witchcraft darlings, not Come Dine With Me. Hecate isn't going to pick over our charm'd pot and award us points out of 40 for presentation and ambience.

MEG
I feng shui-ed the blasted heath!

NAN
Give me strength. Next time we use real snake, finest adder - none of that essential grassnake rubbish, genuine newt's eyeball and certified frog's trotter. Understood?

MEG & BET
Yes.

NAN
At least you used real wool of bat.

BET
Oh no, sorry that's a hair.

NAN
Ew...disgusting!

END.

I really like it again Timbo, the thought of three witches complaining about the pricing of stuff.

I think the ending is a little weak, maybe ending sooner with

So basically we are attempting to summon Hecate with a Chicken Puttanesca?

It's good but I preferred your other witch sketch, TBH.

Oh no, it's 'ew' again. This is England, mate.

Quote: Godot Taxis @ August 8 2009, 4:51 PM BST

Oh no, it's 'ew' again. This is England, mate.

View original

Well actually it's the Scottish Play...

Quote: bigfella @ August 8 2009, 4:24 PM BST

I really like it again Timbo, the thought of three witches complaining about the pricing of stuff.

I think the ending is a little weak,

View original

Cheers. Endings don't seem to be my strength.

Quote: Nigel Kelly @ August 8 2009, 4:35 PM BST

It's good but I preferred your other witch sketch, TBH.

View original

I possibly do as well, but I wanted try another angle.

Quote: Timbo @ August 8 2009, 5:03 PM BST

Well actually it's the Scottish Play...

View original

Yeah, I actually thought about that just after I posted.

For the Works I presume?

Thought the punchline was all right actually. Couldn't Meg and Nan have a reaction though? Think if they both went 'Ewwwwwww!' that would give the sketch a more definite ending.

Yes I had The Works writers' brief in mind when I penned this one.

I think I will go with your suggestion. As you say, it makes it more definite.

How 'bout this ending?

NAN: At least you used wool of bat.

BET: Ah,..well, you know that 'brazilian' I had this morning?

MEG & BET: [SPITTING] Eeeeeewww!

END.