Hey hey. over the years I've built up a vast collection of genuine television complaints. Reckon I'll either publish them in a book one day or try to flog some to magazines/newspapers as filler.
Anyway, here are a few of my favourites...
Britain's Most Wanted Paedophiles: "It was stated on the programme that all paedophiles are given Multi Agency Public Protection Arrangements (MAPPA). It wasn't made clear that people who are not paedophiles such as myself can also be given these arrangements. I assaulted another man after he slept with my wife."
My Man Boobs and Me: Felt that there was no opinion given from men with breasts that are happy. "My son has boobs and he will take his t-shirt off and he isn't embarrassed. He is quite happy and doesn't get much ribbing about it."
Doctor Who: "I think there should be a feature length film starring Pierce Brosnan, Drew Barrymore and Robert De Niro, and the television cast as well."
General: "As it is the tenth anniversary of the death of Diana, Princess of Wales I would be interested in appearing on a programme and singing a song I have written about Paul Burrell."
HINDI URDU BOL CHAAL: "I felt it was a waste of time to broadcast the programme. I don't think there are many people who would wish to learn the language. They may be ideal for viewers wishing to travel to India or Pakistan, but who would want to visit those countries anyway? I would prefer the time was used to teach people German, Polish or mathematics."
Olympics: "The BBC have used metric measurements the whole way through the Olympics and ignored those of us who prefer to use the Imperial system."
EastEnders "I am very annoyed at the news that Phil Mitchell's stag night is going to involve a sheep in some way."
