Railway announcer

My second post in as many days, don't know if I can keep this up, all feedback welcome and apologies in advance if I STILL have not done layout correctly etc.

INT-DAY-WATERLOO STATION

SETTING IS THE DEPARTURE HALL OF WATERLOO RAILWAY STATION. COMMUTERS ARE SEEN RUSHING TO AND FROM TRAINS, CONSULTING THE OVERHEAD TIMETABLE ETC. TRAIN ANNOUNCEMENTS ARE HEARD COMING OVER THE TANNOY, WHICH HAS THE FAMILIER ECHO AND DISTORTED SOUND.

INT-DAY-CONTROL ROOM OFFICE

THE ANNOUNCER SWITCHES OFF HIS MICROPHONE HAVING JUST COMPLETED YET ANOTHER ANNOUNCEMENT. HE SITS BACK AND AT THIS POINT THE REST OF THE OFFICE BRAKES INTO A ROUND OF CHEERS. THE ANNOUNCER IS THEN SURROUNDED BY COLLEAGUES WHO ARE CONGRATULATING HIM QUIETLY, PATTING HIM ON THE BACK ETC. ALONG COMES THE BOSS.

BOSS

Gather round everyone (Ted gets up and is escorted by his boss somewhere to the centre of the office, Ted's colleagues gather round) It's with great sadness that I have to tell you that was Ted's very last announcement ever at this station! As I'm sure you are all aware by now Ted is retiring today, having served us for the last 45 years! I know I speak not only for all staff here but all the passengers down the years who have benefitted from his announcements; Ted, you will be greatly missed. Before I present Ted with a little retirement present, perhaps Ted would like to say a few words…

TED

This is a very sad day for me….Well I really don't know what to say…I am so deeply touched by your gratitude… …(AS SOON AS TED SPEAKS WE REALISE HIS VOICE SOUNDS EXACTLY THE SAME AS IT DOES COMING OVER THE TANNOY IE; SLIGHTLY DISTORTED AND AND FULL OF ECHO)!

END

That's very good stuff. I would like to see it filmed to hear his distorted voice.

Very, very old sketch. It was done to death in the Eighties by Little & Large, Russ Abbot, etc, etc. I'm not saying you nicked it but, hey, think about it - like someone else (including me!) might, just might have had the same idea?

Even if your audience hasn't seen/heard the sketch, they will have guessed the ending by the time 'BOSS' has finished his looooong speech.

Quote: Morrace @ August 6 2009, 6:01 PM BST

Very, very old sketch. It was done to death in the Eighties by Little & Large, Russ Abbot, etc, etc. I'm not saying you nicked it but, hey, think about it - like someone else (including me!) might, just might have had the same idea?

Even if your audience hasn't seen/heard the sketch, they will have guessed the ending by the time 'BOSS' has finished his looooong speech.

View original

Are you Sid Little?

I am not sure whether it has been done before, but I certainly saw the punchline coming. Still funny though.

It might be an old gag but it's a decent one, so the fact you've come up with it as well isn't a bad thing. I just think you could get to the point quicker - cut out the boss and just have the announcer turn round to talk to a collegue.

Quote: Nigel Kelly @ August 6 2009, 5:55 PM BST

That's very good stuff. I would like to see it filmed to hear his distorted voice.

View original

Thanks for the feedback

Quote: Morrace @ August 6 2009, 6:01 PM BST

Very, very old sketch. It was done to death in the Eighties by Little & Large, Russ Abbot, etc, etc. I'm not saying you nicked it but, hey, think about it - like someone else (including me!) might, just might have had the same idea?

Even if your audience hasn't seen/heard the sketch, they will have guessed the ending by the time 'BOSS' has finished his looooong speech.

View original

Thanks also for the comments - this is all extemely useful for me. Certainly didn't nick it as I somehow managed not to catch Little & Large and Russ Abbott.

Realise that the BOSS speech is far too long. As for someone else thinking of the same idea that's a difficult one. But that's why I have started to upload my material onto this forum. No one else has ever seen it before ,I have no idea a)if its any good or b) if it has been done before,so posting it for you guys to comment on gives me answers to both.

Quote: Badge @ August 6 2009, 8:22 PM BST

It might be an old gag but it's a decent one, so the fact you've come up with it as well isn't a bad thing. I just think you could get to the point quicker - cut out the boss and just have the announcer turn round to talk to a collegue.

View original

Agree!

Quote: Badge @ August 6 2009, 8:22 PM BST

It might be an old gag but it's a decent one, so the fact you've come up with it as well isn't a bad thing. I just think you could get to the point quicker - cut out the boss and just have the announcer turn round to talk to a collegue.

View original

Yes, even though it's old, it's a decent gag. As Badge says, "cut out the boss and just have the announcer turn round to talk to a colleague." Get straight to it; don't give 'em time to guess the ending!

Several times I've 'ed at punchlines delivered quick-as-a-flash, then thought, "I've heard that bugger before!" But the writer has done his/her job and got the laugh.

Come to think of it; I'll paraphrase Frank Carson - "It's the way you write 'em!"

Thanks - well put

Hello Mike. It's a good idea but, as mentioned, feels a little stale. I think you can't rely on the reveal being the main joke; it needs to be taken further, or have another dimension. Check out this - same conceit but very original:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSLqZbSrnIQ

Quote: Morrace @ August 6 2009, 6:01 PM BST

Very, very old sketch. It was done to death in the Eighties by Little & Large, Russ Abbot, etc, etc. I'm not saying you nicked it but, hey, think about it - like someone else (including me!) might, just might have had the same idea?

View original

Kenny Everett too I'm afraid.

It was also done on the animated movie Robots.

Quote: Nigel Kelly @ August 6 2009, 5:55 PM BST

That's very good stuff. I would like to see it filmed to hear his distorted voice.

View original

One of the funniest uses of distorted voice was in the Carling Black Label "Dam Busters" advert. Actually, the entire advert was ace.