Another goodbye!

I'd like to say goodbye, on behalf of our very own Tim Walker.

He had a good run, although shaky start. I think it's time to put this old dog down to rest. He's 35 years old, going on 37.

Not since chipolata opened up his own Well Woman practice, have we seen such medical waste.

Yes, Tim was a good man. A good BCG user and forum abuser. He would often rub his foot in my crotch affectionately. Take photos of me in the bath. Be convinced that his keys are in my pants...

Fortunately, he's capable of administering his own lethal dose of Barbiturates.

Bye, bye Tim. We loved you and your avatar sniffing ways.

*leaves loaded shotgun on table*

*along with a bottle of whiskey*

*locks the door*

It's people like you who give assisted suicide a bad name. >_<

With a simple makeover from Gok Wan, Jeremy Kyle and Michael McIntyre, Tim's life could be turned around.

I vote we give him another chance, with a review in 4 weeks.

Leevil on the other hand - you sound a bit 'chesty' at the moment. Some Swiss air could do you a power of good.

Quote: Jane P @ August 1 2009, 9:38 AM BST

With a simple makeover from Gunther von Hagens, Tim's life could be turned around.

View original

Quote: Leevil @ August 1 2009, 9:17 AM BST

Not since chipolata opened up his own Well Woman practice, have we seen such medical waste.

View original

I'd like a Chipolatometer to see how many times I get a namecheck on this site!

Quote: Leevil @ August 1 2009, 9:17 AM BST

He would often rub his foot in my crotch affectionately. Take photos of me in the bath. Be convinced that his keys are in my pants...

View original

Thanks for the kind tribute, Leevil.

However, I am now taking my case to the High Court, in order that I may be allowed to depart this site at the time of my own choosing, with the assistance of my loving partner (Seefacts). To me it's important that, however long I might survive, I depart the BCG whilst I still have my dignity intact and a what I consider a reasonable quality of life.

If at some point, I am unable to sniff avatars, or do not have the strength to write long, rambling "satirical" posts, then I want to be able to slip away peacefully, without painful, drawn-out suffering. I therefore plan, when the time comes, to starting reading the 'Critique' section, not stopping until I sleep into a coma.

I hope you all will respect my wishes.

Tim x

Only the Good Lord can decide when the time is right. Do you think you're better than God, eh?

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ August 1 2009, 2:25 PM BST

Only the Good Lord can decide when the time is right. Do you think you're better than God, eh?

View original

Depends... how many sitcom pilots has He written?

Quote: Tim Walker @ August 1 2009, 2:21 PM BST

To me it's important that, however long I might survive, I depart the BCG whilst I still have my dignity intact

View original

Haven't you missed that window?

Not in my own deluded brain I haven't.

Quote: Tim Walker @ August 1 2009, 2:34 PM BST

Depends... how many sitcom pilots has He written?

View original

Those ones with Derek Neemo. Via automatic writing.

Ah, in that case, I am better than God, because mine are funnier.

Quote: Tim Walker @ August 1 2009, 2:21 PM BST

I depart the BCG whilst I still have my dignity intact and a what I consider a reasonable quality of life.

View original

Will there be anyone left after this spate of passings?

Me. Unfortunately I've taken root.

Quote: Gavin @ August 1 2009, 3:26 PM BST

Me. Unfortunately I've taken root.

View original

I'm addicted to this, so I won't be leaving any time soon. Well, not this month anyway.