British Comedy Guide

Nice jokes

Gosh we're a mean surly bunch aren't we? Making fun of Muslims, politicians and even puppies. So let's see if we can manage a thread of jokes that are nothing but pleasant, innocent and still funny!

1 Why don't elephants forget? They can't join the Foreign Legion.

2 What's black and very hard? A crossword printed in black on black paper.

Quote: sootyj @ July 30 2009, 8:26 PM BST

Gosh we're a mean surly bunch aren't we? Making fun of Muslims, politicians and even puppies. So let's see if we can manage a thread of jokes that are nothing but pleasant, innocent and still funny!

1 Why don't elephants forget? They can't join the Foreign Legion.

2 What's black and very hard? A crossword printed in black on black paper.

Love the second one

Are we staying clear of Vampire gags tonight too, or?

Unless you can think of a nice one?

Who's mischevious and bites necks? A naughty scampire.

How do you get a clown of a swing? Smash him in the face with an axe.

Nice jokes you rotters!

What do you call 40 clowns in a horrible car crash? An ambulance.

Seethat's nice, sort of.

I apologise unreservedly for the spelling of 'of'

Now I feel like a clown, It's been a long day.

Cannibal 1 I feel like a clown.

Cannibal 2 I don't they taste funny.

I went to the zoo the other day and all they had there was a dog.

Shih tzu.

I'm sorry Sir, we don't serve clowns here.

That's alright, a cannibal friend of mine said they taste like they look.

Which famous director had detachable genitals?

Alfred Hitchcock

:)

Quote: Ed Marks @ July 30 2009, 10:49 PM BST

I'm sorry Sir, we don't serve clowns here.

That's alright, a cannibal friend of mine said they taste like they look.

Oh you two stop clowning around!!..

:D

:)

:|

How do you get 50 clowns in a small car?

Put them on a diet and practise.

Quote: sootyj @ July 30 2009, 10:53 PM BST

How do you get 50 clowns in a small car?

Put them on a diet and practise.

To get 50 in, I'd start by taking those f**king shoes off..space saver.

How do you get 51 clowns in a small car?

Smash them ALL in the face with an axe, for ages.

Quote: Ed Marks @ July 30 2009, 10:55 PM BST

How do you get 51 clowns in a small car?

Smash them ALL in the face with an axe, for ages.

That's what I was implying but I was trying to be nice.

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