British Comedy Guide

Books you read as a child... Page 14

I can hold my tongue (well fingers) no longer!

Re: Peter Jackson

LOTR:

The LOTR trilogy was without a doubt the most expensively boring set of films I have ever seen. It looked like a 9 hour commerical for the New Zealand tourist board with endless shots of the countryside, I kept expecting a voice over to say 'Discover New Zealand today. Flights from £699'. And the walking, always with the walking shots. Big set, mountain, big, set mountain, it went on and on and on. All of the hard work done by the production designers, costumers, prop makers, etc. was metaphorically pissed on by the pantomime acting performances, limited character development and stupifyingly dull CGI battle scenes - which just like the mountain and walking around shots went on forever and ever. Jackson should be hanged, drawn and quartered for his 'dwarf tossing joke' alone. Terrible. (Though I really liked the score).

King Kong:

A three hour movie that was two hours too long. Jack Black was horribly miscast and delivered an almost unforgettable performance as an incompetent, money hungry director who made cheap exploitation films (ironic). Giant CGI ice skating gorillas and goofy dinosaur chase sequences should only be featured in movies with the words Ice Age in the title. I did enjoy the enourmous insects in the valley though, but not the shipmate who had never fired a gun before becoming an expert marksman with a a full auto tommy gun in half a second. Bunch of arse.

I loved the Frighteners and Brain Dead, so you may not find my opinions valid.

Phew. I can calm down now.

King Kong-agree.
LOTR-disagree.

I liked King Kong. It was undeniably too long, and there were silly bits (like Kong ice skating) but I got swept along in it, and even shed a tear when Kong dies at the end.

Quote: chipolata @ July 30 2009, 1:21 PM BST

I liked King Kong. It was undeniably too long, and there were silly bits (like Kong ice skating) but I got swept along in it, and even shed a tear when Kong dies at the end.

I shed a tear at the end as well, the crapfest cost me £3.99 on Filmflex.

Quote: chipolata @ July 30 2009, 1:21 PM BST

I liked King Kong. It was undeniably too long, and there were silly bits (like Kong ice skating) but I got swept along in it, and even shed a tear when Kong dies at the end.

You need a shot of testosterone and quick my boy or you'll be turning into Aaron.

Quote: roscoff @ July 30 2009, 1:26 PM BST

You need a shot of testosterone and quick my boy or you'll be turning into Aaron.

It'll never happ...Bloody Darkies!!

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ July 30 2009, 1:17 PM BST

The LOTR trilogy was without a doubt the most expensively boring set of films I have ever seen. It looked like a 9 hour commerical for the New Zealand tourist board with endless shots of the countryside, I kept expecting a voice over to say 'Discover New Zealand today. Flights from £699'. And the walking, always with the walking shots. Big set, mountain, big, set mountain, it went on and on and on. All of the hard work done by the production designers, costumers, prop makers, etc. was metaphorically pissed on by the pantomime acting performances, limited character development and stupifyingly dull CGI battle scenes - which just like the mountain and walking around shots went on forever and ever. Jackson should be hanged, drawn and quartered for his 'dwarf tossing joke' alone. Terrible. (Though I really liked the score).

I would agree, but I never managed to see all three films. I read The Hobbit as a kid and enjoyed it. Then at age 12 got The Lord of the Rings trilogy in a single book and spent a month getting through it. Plenty of adventure and zero laughs. Years later I sat through the first hour of the first film and then turned it off. Dullsville.

Quote: Kenneth @ July 30 2009, 1:31 PM BST

I would agree, but I never managed to see all three films. I read The Hobbit as a kid and enjoyed it. Then at age 12 got The Lord of the Rings trilogy in a single book and spent a month getting through it. Plenty of adventure and zero laughs. Years later I sat through the first hour of the first film and then turned it off. Dullsville.

Have you enjoyed any fantasy type films?

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ July 29 2009, 5:30 PM BST

I keep thinking the dog was called Bingo. Who was Bingo?

Although Buster was the main canine hero of Enid Blyton's Five Find-Outer (Mystery of ... series) books, there was a dog called Bingo in the final book, The Mystery of Banshee Towers. Bingo was owned by Mr Goon's nephew Ern, so not surprsingly the dog was rather common and comical.

Quote: chipolata @ July 30 2009, 1:42 PM BST

Have you enjoyed any fantasy type films?

Of course. Especially if by fantasy you mean filth. And by filth you mean - but this is a family site.

Quote: Kenneth @ July 30 2009, 1:46 PM BST

Of course. Especially if by fantasy you mean filth. And by filth you mean -

Say no more, you're a Krull man.

Krull I didn't mind. It didn't drag on for too long and there was Robbie Coltrane (I think) and a giant spider and a silly story. Likewise Flash Gordon was fun. And Logan's Run was awesome. But I guess the latter are more sci-fi than fantasy.

I used to read collections of Harold Pinter plays when I was 12. (Yes, I was a tosser even as a child.)

Quote: Tim Walker @ July 30 2009, 1:53 PM BST

I used to read collections of Harold Pinter plays when I was 12.

If only I could get down to Sidcup for a new pair of shoes [pause]... Not exactly what I'd call reading for pleasure.

The Hothouse was my fave as a kid. In itself it would have been a harmless quirk, but I used to write and perform with a stage school bunch and would write Pinter-esque short plays for a bunch of 12 and 13 year olds to have to perform. The shame!

Quote: Griff @ July 30 2009, 1:58 PM BST

Words can't describe how much I don't like Pinter plays.

Try pauses instead.

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