British Comedy Guide

Hospital Scene

This is a scene from something I've been working on. Not sure it works.

INT DAY HOSPITAL

JACOB IS SAT IN A WHEELCHAIR LOOKING OUT OF THE HOSPITAL WINDOW, OBVIOUSLY UPSET. HE WEARS A BATH ROBE AND PYJAMAS. NURSE ANNA APPROACHES HIM FROM BEHIND.

NURSE:
Now now Jacob, what have we said about feeling sorry for ourselves?

JACOB CARRIES ON LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW AND DOESN'T REGISTER THE NURSE.

NURSE:
Jacob this is doing you no good, no good at all. Lets wheel you out the front for some air.

AS THE NURSE TRIES TO MOVE THE WHEELCHAIR JACOB GRASPS HOLD OF THE WHEELS TO STOP HER.

NURSE:
This is silly Jacob, you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, what's happened has happened and it's time to move on.

JACOB PUSHES AWAY FROM THE WALL THEN WHEELS HIMSELF THROUGH THE WARD, DOWN THE CORRIDOR, INTO A LIFT AND THEN OUT THE FRONT OF THE BUILDING. HE KEEPS GOING ACROSS HOSPITAL GROUNDS UNTIL HE GETS TO THE CAR PARK. HE THEN THROWS HIMSELF OUT OF THE CHAIR AND LAYS HIS HEAD UNDER A PARKED CARS WHEEL. THE NURSES FEET APPEAR NEXT TO JACOBS HEAD.

NURSE:
Please Jacob, this has to stop. You can have it back.

THE NURSE DROPS A COPY OF RAZZLE ON THE FLOOR. JACOB GRABS IT AND SMILES

Maybe if it was a copy of Viz or Mustard? Jacob loves comedy.

It's a bit of an obvious ending. Whatever it is she gives back needs to be funnier and in the context of his situation, in my opinion.

Dan

I like the build up but it feels like you've done the hard work then run out of steam. It has potential as a dark sort of sketch, where there is some explanation for why he is not snapping out of his malaise. I say stick at it, think about some different illnesses/problems he could have that might have an ironic twist, amusing outcome.

Share this page