British Comedy Guide

The phenomenal lie thread. Page 3

Quote: Tim Walker @ July 26 2009, 1:34 AM BST

My great-uncle invented 'Curly-Wurlys', but forgot to patent them and drank himself to death. :(

Really, really hot chocolate?

Quote: Leevil @ July 26 2009, 1:37 AM BST

How do you invent a Curly-Wurly?

Have a complicated shit.

I once vouched for Toyah Wilcox on a passport application.

Quote: Tim Walker @ July 26 2009, 1:43 AM BST

I once vouched for Toyah Wilcox on a passport application.

Is this one actually true? It's just a hunch, as Quasimodo said to Esmerelda.

Quote: The Giggle-o @ July 26 2009, 1:45 AM BST

Is this one actually true?

It's a mystery.

Quote: Badge @ July 26 2009, 1:46 AM BST

It's a mystery.

I like it :)

Quote: Leevil @ July 26 2009, 1:37 AM BST

How do you invent a Curly-Wurly?

Torturing a Chomp bar on a rack?

I narrowly lost out auditioning for a role in a ITV children's drama to Nigel Harman (who happens to be exactly 1 day older than me, having been born on the 11th August 1973).

Quote: Badge @ July 26 2009, 1:42 AM BST

Have a complicated shit.

Laughing out loud

Quote: Nil Putters @ July 26 2009, 1:47 AM BST

Torturing a Chomp bar on a rack?

Laughing out loud

It's not you, it's me. (It was her actually).

I tell people I was shot in the back and still have my army tunic with the hole in it. Fact. I then decline to go into more detail.

Truth is, I was 15 and wearing an army-surplus tunic when I took an air-gun pellet. Still got the scar.

Not quite as heroic as it first appears.

I've told friends that I used to be in a gang and I have the scars to prove it. They're actually scars from moles I had removed that were borderline cancerous. But, they are in the typical spots where gang people get stabbed. This lie is 85-90% effective.

Quote: sootyj @ July 25 2009, 9:34 PM BST

Ok what's your most phemomenal lie?

It's got to be phenomenal, big and have the slightest smidgeon of truth.
Harder than you think...

Right I'll start.

1 Sootyj has a 1000 strong ninja army who only serve me as I defeated each one of them in personal combat.

2 Radar love is an obscure porn film featuring a Jeremy Clarkson impersonator humping a radar dome at Goonhilly with a soundtrack by Golden Earing.

3 There was a version of coke in 1985 containing 50% nicotine called Smoka Cola.

I'm an ugly bugger :)

Quote: AndreaLynne @ July 26 2009, 10:14 AM BST

I've told friends that I used to be in a gang and I have the scars to prove it. They're actually scars from moles I had removed that were borderline cancerous. But, they are in the typical spots where gang people get stabbed. This lie is 85-90% effective.

Errr

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