I'm going through the rewrite of my sitcom at the minute and have noticed a few times that my dialogue between characters can seem a little wooden at times. Does anyone have any exercises or advice that I could follow to help make it more smooth?
Dialogue flow
Try getting together with someone else and being those characters....know where you are starting the scene and where you need to end up, so you know roughly what needs to be said but aren't reading from a script....tape-record the conversation and then use them as a basis for it.
If you are sitting down and trying to imagine what people will say, it often seems forced and unnatural, but if you actually act out in the situation its more realistic and will be smoother.
Its worth a try at least, pal.
Put two characters in a room together with no distractions and have them talk utter "bollocks" excuse my English. Doesn't matter if it is leading somewhere or not.
Thanks for the ideas.
I think that things seem slightly wooden because, as pointed out above, I am imagining everything in my head.
I'm going to run through the first couple of scenes with my girlfriend later. Should be of some help.
Quote: Leevil @ August 27, 2007, 11:42 AMPut two characters in a room together with no distractions and have them talk utter "bollocks" excuse my English. Doesn't matter if it is leading somewhere or not.
That is good to get some funny lines, as random chat produces good stuff you can slip in somewhere.
Well I wouldn't really say its the material that I'm lacking, its more the rhythm of how people speak.
I've found that, as well as random chat, that just listening to people in public can result in great ideas for jokes. It's a good excuse for eavesdropping as well.
Read it through, out loud, in your own speech pattern - and just remove any words that sound unnatural.
My first draft sounds very unnatural and clunky, until I read it through properly and loosen it up a bit by acting it out.
Use contractions. I love 'em.
So many great lines are destroyed by "I should have gone to SpecSavers" instead of "Should've gone to SpecSavers." Reading the sentence in uncontracted form slows pace and ruins natural flow. Especially true in novel dialogue. Suddenly characters start speaking the Queen's English in particularly ancient and precise forms "What say one retires to SpecSavers?" or they're ruined by over-emphasis and go all "Tay! Tay! Tay! Yer jus' wanna 'ave a coop 'o tay, me laddie. And go to fookin' SpecSavers"
Sorry if you know that already but of all the scripts I've read that's by far the biggest killer of flow and rhythm.
Another idea is to avoid trying to replicate natural speech too much, this really is a big mistake "Y-y-you know they... they ... they did say ... err ... what was I saying? ... Something about about a ... SpecSavers." - I love Woody Allen but reading the dialogue to a film is tiresome because of all the stutters and doublebacks. Oddly (this came as a big shock when I first heard it and I argued the toss over it too) your job as a writer is not to perfectly replicate real speech in a 100% faithful manner (very very tedious to hear). Our job as writers is to analyse and identify the nub of what needs to be said and deliver it as concisely as you can in the character's voice. Some characters can be florrid in their speech but in this instance you introduce the character as such then carefully drop the characteristic but let it crop up once in a while to remind the consumer of the characteristic. That way the illusion is maintained but conciseness isn't sacrificed.
Quote: SlagA @ August 27, 2007, 10:37 PMUse contractions. I love 'em.
So many great lines are destroyed by "I should have gone to SpecSavers" instead of "Should've gone to SpecSavers." Reading the sentence in uncontracted form slows pace and ruins natural flow. Especially true in novel dialogue. Suddenly characters start speaking the Queen's English in particularly ancient and precise forms "What say one retires to SpecSavers?" or they're ruined by over-emphasis and go all "Tay! Tay! Tay! Yer jus' wanna 'ave a coop 'o tay, me laddie. And go to fookin' SpecSavers"
Sorry if you know that already but of all the scripts I've read that's by far the biggest killer of flow and rhythm.
I'm going to have to say 'spot on' to another one of your post SlagA.
Yeah, its funny because I was literally just debating about whether to use contractions or not. My script has very few in at the minute as I'm a stickler for grammar, but I think it's stifling the flow. I'm gonna use them in the script and hopefully it'll help.
Also, I just read through my first scene aloud, all alone as my girlfriend is asleep(!), and I managed to make quite a few changes to the flow of my dialogue. Spent some silly amounts of times on certain lines, which resulted in only minor changes, but it's made a big difference.
Ta for the advice!
Unless a character is posh other than that splendid Slag A.
Quote: Winterlight @ August 27, 2007, 10:43 PMSpent some silly amounts of times on certain lines, which resulted in only minor changes, but it's made a big difference.
That's the way to go. You've got the luxury of making every word count when you're writing the thing.
Like some kind of literary god!
Don't think classical, think rock and roll. Just loosen up a little and it won't be wooden.
That sounds a oittle bit rude when I read it back..
Whilst reading out loud does help, you could try and assemble a read through with several people. It helps get some scope on how long the script is as people speak at different speeds. Also, you've got different interpretations of saying lines etc and in general you've always got plenty of feedback.
Although, if you want a Fawlty Towers gag rate get your computer to read it out loud for you.