I liked the leather on willow and gran ones the best.
Newsjack salon de refuse: voxpops Page 3
Cheers Nigel.
Here are my vox pops from the final week. None used though
Q: Any memories of the moon landing?
Well I was actually born on the same day as the landing, so my memories mostly consist of being pushed out of somewhere while my mum was screaming bloody murder. I seem to recall my dad was watching it though.
Oh yeah I remember the moon landing. I sky plus'd it.
It was incredible watching the moon landing. Those two men are legends. Neil Armstrong and Buzz Lightyear. Legends.
I hate how some people say it was all faked. It was just a coincidence that a camera was set up there already.
I married my wife 40 years ago and I tell you, our wedding night was like the moon landing. She was a big woman.
I heard that there was a deleted scene from the landing video where Armstrong threw a bone for his dog that he managed to sneak on board, but they cut it as it was just an hour of the dog becoming smaller and smaller in the distance.
Quote: Chris Forshaw @ July 24 2009, 2:13 AM BSTOh yeah I remember the moon landing. I sky plus'd it.
It was incredible watching the moon landing. Those two men are legends. Neil Armstrong and Buzz Lightyear. Legends.
I hate how some people say it was all faked. It was just a coincidence that a camera was set up there already.
I liked these ones.
I sent in three this week:
These clowns who deny the moon landings, they'll tell you that the 1986 invasion of Pluto didn't happen either.
It makes a mockery of our honours system, naming someone after a Rolling Stones' song – Baron Sugar.
Boris Johnson in the East End? Now, that's a first.
In order: great, good and too accurate to be funny.
Badge, like the greenhouse one best. The NHS waiting list is clever, but perhaps would just get people nodding going 'that's true!' rather than actually laughing! Great satire!
Chris -- wedding night made me LOL.
Nigel -- second one's a proper groaner, but I did like it.
Here's my final week (weak) line-up:
EXTREMELY POSH:
Top professions are only available to the most affluent families, are they? I'd say! Ahahaha! Now, would you like fries with that?
VOX POP:
Boris Johnson is due to make a guest appearance on Eastenders? I wonder if he'll cope with the nonsensical, outdated, bumbling dialogue.
VOX POP:
I hear rumours that the toilets have broken down on the International Space Station. I don't know whether to believe it or not. There's a good chance they're just full of crap.
Dan
Badge:
The leather on willow one is a great gag, but it is an old one. It popped up in 'Brass', for instance.
But the night bus and the GP ones were very good - shame they didn't use them.
Chris:
The Buzz Lightyear line. According to a recent survey, 1% of people thought that's who he was!
Nigel:
Thought the pluto line was great.
My own this week:
MAN: Now that Sir Alan Sugar is Baron Sugar I think he has a clear choice. With a name like that he'll either become a porn star or a 1970's style soul singer.
MAN: Yes, I remember exactly where I was when man first set foot on the moon forty years ago. I was burgling Neil Armstrong's house while he was out.
MAN: Since it's now forty years since the first moon landings I'd love to see them send a man to Mars – I just don't think Gordon Brown would agree to go.
WOMAN: You've got to feel sorry for Michael Jackson's kids – if they take after him, they'll be weird, and if they take after the bloke who created them in his lab and sold them to Michael Jackson, they'll be even weirder.
MAN: I see Fearne Cotton got sent a text message during her Radio 1 show saying someone wanted to see her dead – well, if she asked listeners for their favourite requests, she can't really complain
Quote: R.J. @ July 24 2009, 9:35 AM BSTMAN: I see Fearne Cotton got sent a text message during her Radio 1 show saying someone wanted to see her dead – well, if she asked listeners for their favourite requests, she can't really complain
Didn't see that story. Probably someone requested The Beatles 'Run for your Life'.
Some old one liners and vox pops.
TONY BLAIR'S MYSTERIOUS BLACK EYE
PRESS CONFERENCE: SHUTTING OF CAMERA LENSES
[BLAIR SPOKESMAN] On behalf of Mr Blair I can confirm that the mark on his eye wasn't from gypsy boxing, like some reports were suggesting, but it was merely make-up he'd forgotten to remove after a delightful fancy dress party at the Obama's, where he went as a panda.
ANDY RODDICK ISN'T A SORE LOSER…OR IS HE?
WIMBLEDON CENTRE COURT: SOME CROWD NOISE
[ANDY RODDICK] No, no Sue, I don't feel any resentment towards Roger, he was a worthy winner and he deserves everything he gets…[UNDER HIS BREATH] especially the herpes from that towel I gave I him.
MIDDLE CLASS UPROAR OVER INTER-FEMALE OSCULATION
[LITTLE OLD LADY] I blame it on that Katie Perry. But then again girls kissing girls isn't anything new. I used to do it in the WI, but they didn't taste like cherry chapstick, it was more like boiled beef an' carrots.
[MIDDLE CLASS MAN] Oh no, we're encouraging her to kiss more girls, no risk of getting pregnant there and with the cost of her tuition fees I don't think we could afford another mouth to feed.
[BUTCH FEMALE] I think it's disgusting, they give you a kiss but then when you try and take it further they pull away like your taking advantage. Don't sample the goods if you've got no intention of buying!
PALIN RESIGNS
[COCKNEY BLOKE] Oh, I'm really sad to hear Palin's resigned. I used to like watching him travel around the world, Sahara was my favourite…[INTERVIEWER WHISPERS UNINTELLIGIBLY] Oh *Sarah* Palin, no she can sling her hook.
Cheers
Adam
This week's vox pops:
MAN: (Glasgow accent) Jackie Smith reckons she wasnae properly trained for the Home Office. I bet her husband nicked all the videos.
WOMAN: Obama said I should aim higher, so I shot him.
MAN: (Birmingham accent, depressed) I was going to Sydney with Qantas, but it's depressingly expensive, so now I'm going to Zurich with Dignitas.
WOMAN: (Southern counties accent) There was this bastard at check-in, coughing away. I thought there's more chance pigs'll fly, but the swine flu.
MAN: (Glasgow accent) Yeah, I got one of them DNA testing kits, cos you cannae trust women, can yah? Turns out I am a bastard.
Few of mine over the last couple of weeks:
VOX POP:
All this stuff about you can only be a doctor or a lawyer if you're from a well-heeled family. That's nonsense! I always told my boys that they could be whatever they wanted to be, whether it was an astronaut, a brain surgeon or a bin man. (PAUSE) What did they turn out to be? Well, Sebastian's a brain surgeon and Tarquin's an astronaut.
VOX POP:
Forty years since man walked on the Moon, eh? I remember it well and them iconic words that he spoke too. Brilliant it was, how'd it go? Oh yeah, "To infinity and beyond!"
VOX POP:
I agree wif David Beckham. You could see that most of them Galaxy fans was lovin him bein back and that. It was just that the stadium had been playin' Posh's last album over the PA before he's come on like.
VOX POP:
What's all this fuss about getting a new speaker in the parliament? I got a whole new home entertainment system last week and nobody heard me banging on about it once.
Quote: John Kelly @ July 24 2009, 6:19 PM BSTThis week's vox pops:
MAN: (Glasgow accent) Jackie Smith reckons she wasnae properly trained for the Home Office. I bet her husband nicked all the videos.
WOMAN: Obama said I should aim higher, so I shot him.
MAN: (Birmingham accent, depressed) I was going to Sydney with Qantas, but it's depressingly expensive, so now I'm going to Zurich with Dignitas.
WOMAN: (Southern counties accent) There was this bastard at check-in, coughing away. I thought there's more chance pigs'll fly, but the swine flu.
MAN: (Glasgow accent) Yeah, I got one of them DNA testing kits, cos you cannae trust women, can yah? Turns out I am a bastard.
I liked the Dignitas one and the last one.
John Kelly my preferred one is number 3 the rest don't do much for me.
Blenkinsop my preferred one is number 4 the rest don't do much for me.
Bit of a lottery though.