The Blokes

EXT. DAY.

A GROUP OF BLOKES ARE STANDING IN A QUEUE.

BLOKE 1:
Stay long last night?

BLOKE 2:
You know me, closing time as usual.

BLOKE 3:
It should be open by now... oh, here we go.

FX DOOR BEING UNLOCKED.

BLOKES PILE THROUGH OPEN DOOR. MAN WHO OPENED DOOR IS SHAKING HIS HEAD.

CUT TO INT. BLOKES ARE NOW STANDING IN LIBRARY AISLES LOOKING AT BOOKS.

BLOKE 1:
Think I'll start off with a large print.

BLOKE 2:
Nah, not for me mate. I was on them from about lunch time yesterday, anyway, to cut a long story short you need scissors and a copy of War And Peace.

BLOKE 3:
I'm going to peruse the papers first.

BLOKE 1 & 2:
Hahaha!

BLOKE 1:
He'll be online next, wait 'til you see.

BLOKE 2:
Blokes like him shouldn't be allowed in libraries, they can't handle their words.

CUT TO EXT. 3 BLOKES STANDING OUTSIDE LIBRARY ENTRANCE HAVING A SMOKE.

CUT TO INT. 3 BLOKES SITTING AT TABLE READING.

VOICE:
We're closing now gentlemen.

BLOKES: Awww!

BLOKES ARE STARTING TO WALK OUT.

BLOKE 2: (to librarian)
I couldn't take a couple home mate?

I like the idea. But that's all it's running on at the minute. Not many jokes, apart from the puns.

Yep - agree with Leevil.

Potential but too few joke at the moment.

Threed. Great idea -- needs a bit of work on the juxtapositions.

-- I read eight prints last night. My head is thumping now.
-- Yeah, it was that last one: the thesaurus.
-- I told you not to mix your texts.
-- It wasn't so much the thesaurus as the novella chaser...

etc etc

Dan

Quote: swerytd @ July 21 2009, 9:19 AM BST

Threed. Great idea -- needs a bit of work on the juxtapositions.

-- I read eight prints last night. My head is thumping now.
-- Yeah, it was that last one: the thesaurus.
-- I told you not to mix your texts.
-- It wasn't so much the thesaurus as the novella chaser...

etc etc

Dan

View original

Thanks, I'll mull it over and see what I can come up with.

-- I hadn't had enough. I tried to get some more on the way home, but the mobile library shut at 11.

Just thinking about it a little bit more (and I'm not saying it's right/wrong) but rather than talking about it, what about sketching the actual night rather than the morning after? Have a designated non-reader to bring a bit of structure to it.

Dan

I Like this one.
You could probably get some good visual jokes in there as well.

It might need a bit of changing, but I'm not sure it's that far off.

Hahaha very nice. I liked the quick cut of them having a fag outside. Probably could be tightened up a bit though.