A quick and dirty radio sketch for your eyes to read on.
NARRATOR
A dark and stormy night at Gimply Manor.
(FX: Doorbell)
MADAME GIMPLY
Oh, I'm not expecting visitors.
(FX: Door creaks open, thunder and lightning)
MADAME GIMPLY
What's that in your hand you –
(FX: Slashing and splattering)
MADAME GIMPLY
Oh bothers I've been murdered!
(FX: Body thud, lightning strike)
NARRATOR
A day passes.
(FX: Door creaks open)
GILES GIMPLY
Thank goodness you're here, Inspector. My rich, estranged mother was horribly murdered and I, as her only heir to her estate, must find out which vile person did it – it was probably the gardener.
INSPECTOR MOROSE
I'll make the assumptions round here, sir. It was probably the gardener.
GARDENER KENSINGTON
Nowt to do with me, I was down the local pub last night at least three minutes walking distance from the home of my skinflint employee who was sacking me at the end of the month.
INSPECTOR MOROSE
Jenkins the Butler, is he around?
(FX: Tray shake)
JENKINS
Right here, sir. I was on a night off last night when my maneating, spiteful lady was savagely murdered to death.
INSPECTOR MOROSE
I understand her estranged husband lives nearby, is this true.
(FX: Door kicks open and shotgun loads)
ALBERT GIMPLY
I do indeed, but I was out hunting on the night that the woman who fleeced me of over half of my estate was murdered.
INSPECTOR MOROSE
I hope you all have proof of your whereabouts last night.
ALL TOGETHER
Yes. I was with him.
INSPECTOR MOROSE
You were all together?
ALL TOGETHER
Erm, yes.
INSPECTOR MOROSE
Come on, be honest.
ALL TOGETHER
Very well, it was her dog Snuffles. He did it.
INSPECTOR MOROSE
You cannot expect me to believe that-
(FX: dog park, knife stab and splatter)
SNUFFLES
Right, you miserable lot. Help me with this one.
ALL TOGETHER
Yes, Snuffles.
(FX: Body dragging)
SNUFFLES
Can't believe you grassed me up to the fuzz!
ALL TOGETHER
Sorry Snuffles.
