British Comedy Guide

Just heard this joke...

We all hear jokes. Many are worth sharing. Perhaps we can share them in this thread. I'll start.

My mate was walking past Waterstones yesterday when he noticed they were advertising "A Third Off All Titles".

He went in and bought himself a copy of "The Witch and The Wardrobe".

Over to you.

Thanks for that, Geoff. Errr

What's red and isn't there?

No tomato.

Q: How many psychotherapists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Well, first of all, the light bulb has to really want to change...

How many writers does it take to change a light bulb?

IT DOESN'T FUCKING NEED CHANGING!

One from my niece...

Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

A: Because it was dead.

Errr Not sure she gets jokes yet.

I've heard that Ross Kemp has signed a new deal with Sky. After much deliberation, he decided to go for the sports package.

Quote: Jack Massey @ July 17 2009, 12:41 PM BST

I've heard that Ross Kemp has signed a new deal with Sky. After much deliberation, he decided to go for the sports package.

By Merchant & Gervais, by way of Brooker...

What do you call Piers Morgan up a tree?

A c**t.

Quote: sootyj @ July 17 2009, 1:25 PM BST

What do you call Piers Morgan up a tree?

A c**t.

What do you all Piers Morgan anyway.

[C above]

Quote: Nil Putters @ July 17 2009, 12:37 PM BST

Errr Not sure she gets jokes yet.

She's not alone, going by the jokes on this thread.

:D

Bloke walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "F**k off, you won't bring it back!"

Porn books in libraries are addictive, you can't put them down.

How do you know when you've had a really good shit?
-When you come back and your screesaver's on.

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