British Comedy Guide

Stand-up topics..

Hey guys...

I've been trying to write some stand-up material recently, but because I've been massively bored that has shown up in my work. So, I wanted to try and make things more entertaining.

I want you guys to give me some topics.. can be absolutely anything...

And I will try and make a few stand-up gags out of them.

Help me release the boredom!!

Independance for Cornwall.

Things in your fridge that have gone off.

Makeup

Anarchosyndicalism.

Michael Keaton's sinister turn in 'Pacific Heights'.

Quote: bigfella @ July 8 2009, 10:50 PM BST

Independance for Cornwall.

A near impossible subject. I did the best I could. I didn't think any of this over, just opened MS Word and started writing... it shows

I believe in indpendence for Cornwall, I've done a lot of research on this subject - almost one whole minute on wikipedia. Gotta do something while waiting for the porn to load!

Cornwall has a wealth of exports - sheep and incest! And if Austria can be it's own nation, then why not Cornwall?

A recent survey was conducted and 45% of Cornwallians, Cornwallaces? Cornhuskers? Cornwallese people believe that they should have their independence. While the other 55% couldn't understand the question.

Italy is one of the most powerful nations in the world, and it's only a boot! Cornwall is a whole leg - imagine what it can achieve? Italy brought us some fantastic exports; Milan being the fashion capital of the world, the world would be a less stylish place if it wasn't for these facists.

Cornwall is a place where men are real men! And where sheep are sexy!

Rolling eyes

Not bad for a couple hours work.

Quote: Norm @ July 9 2009, 1:25 AM BST

A recent survey was conducted and 45% of Cornwallians, Cornwallaces? Cornhuskers? Cornwallese

Cornholers?

Stray dogs you've dated; Bog lids that fall down when you're pissing; Diva nuns; Cop scotch; Floppy bones; Electric bog rolls; e males; Staines remover; All that clitoris is not gold; Stamp on tampons.

Want some more?

Quote: Norm @ July 9 2009, 1:25 AM BST

Gotta do something while waiting for the porn to load!

I liked this line. :)

Personally I find any sheep/ incest jokes a bit tired now, but everyone has different tastes.

I prefer to hear more personal stuff so if you're bored have a go at writing about being bored - what have you done to relieve the boredom? In a comedically exaggerated way of course. We've all been there (as opposed to sheep shagging which rules out the majority of your audience I hope).

JP

Share this page