British Comedy Guide

Advice for Metropolitans Page 3

Dave you say? He owes me a fiver could you forward it onto me please!

Quote: metrophage @ July 8 2009, 12:25 PM BST

move to the country,
people are nicer,
racist but nicer...

Laughing out loud
So true.

Quote: Aaron @ July 8 2009, 2:47 PM BST

Capitals please, metrophage. And no need for the peculiar new line!

I believe one should never start a sentence with "and". Will you be correcting everyones grammar? Or is this a rite of passage for the new boy?

Quote: metrophage @ July 8 2009, 3:23 PM BST

Will you be correcting everyones grammar?

You are new.

Quote: chipolata @ July 8 2009, 3:25 PM BST

You are new.

Which means, 'You are new!'.

Quote: chipolata @ July 8 2009, 3:25 PM BST

You are new.

Implying but not a boy?

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ July 8 2009, 12:21 PM BST

I make eye contact on the tube and have known to get into conversations!

I was on the train with Elliot once, and a guy just joined in our conversation about how I could "save the world in between revising for A-levels." He asked if I could make it so England would win the World Cup, too.

Quote: Rob H @ July 8 2009, 3:41 PM BST

Which means, 'You are new!'.

Yes, but doing italics is SUCH a chore!

Quote: metrophage @ July 8 2009, 3:23 PM BST

I believe one should never start a sentence with "and". Will you be correcting everyones grammar? Or is this a rite of passage for the new boy?

everyone's*

It's only a rite of passage so far as you'll learn quickly. ;)

Quote: chipolata @ July 8 2009, 5:30 PM BST

Yes, but doing italics is SUCH a chore!

That's why I did it for you. After the bonding session on the two vun three, it's the least I could do.

Back to the question. I feel it is important that all visitors are made to realise that the Underground map is drawn exactly to scale.

1:1.

Ok back to the subject of this thread!

1 Fellas got a beard? Look a bit middle eastern? Don't dig in your rucksack for sandwiches on the tube. Unless you want the carriage to yourself.

2 Feeling like you need a hug? Why not hug one of the soldiers outside Buckingham Palace? They're not allowed to move so go mad.

3 Al Quaeda are actually allowed to sell lethal bio-weapons. Providing it's from mobile hotdog standards, to tourists for 3 quid a pop. Mind you the fried onions smell nice.

Quote: metrophage @ July 8 2009, 12:25 PM BST

move to the country,
people are nicer,
racist but nicer...

We did used to have people of all kinds of races down here but then a magical pied piper came and played a joyful and beautiful tune and led them all away.... Smarmy

Seriously, we actually have our own issues. Like tractor rage and cow scrumping.

Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ July 8 2009, 9:18 PM BST

We did used to have people of all kinds of races down here but then a magical pied piper came and played a joyful and beautiful tune and led them all away.... Smarmy

Seriously, we actually have our own issues. Like tractor rage and cow scrumping.

And having to thank bus drivers when they let you off the bus and shop assistants taking ages.

Share this page