British Comedy Guide

Humpty Dumpty

I have a habit of falling off things.

I first started as a toddler when I smashed my teeth out falling off a wall, I've fallen off bicycles, horses and a bus. And I've been (mostly) sober.

More recently I've fallen over in a children's playground and in a packed restaurant (before I'd even had a drink) and embarassed my dining companion. It just makes me laugh (until the pain sets in). I put it down to unsuitable footwear and bad flooring situations mostly.

The most ridiculous thing I've fallen off is an exercise bike. I managed to go over the handlebars of this stationary object. The person who saw me do it couldn't figure out why it happened.

And earlier today I nearly fell off the bed,as I was kneeling on a folded up quilt.

What's the most stupidist thing you've tripped over, fallen off?

Via the miracle of alcohol, I used to regularly manage to get my feet twisted around each other and manage to trip myself up. This all from a standing position with no other obstacles I could discern.

My party piece recently is to bang my knees. But only when wearing shorts, for some reason. Don't ever do it in long trousers.

Tripping over my own feet, off stilts, out of a window on the ground floor, off the roof of a shed, down a sand dune, in the middle of the road, on ice, in a skate rink, down a hill, into a stream, into a fountain, off someones back, off a horse, off a donkey, into a display of ketchup, into the arms of a department store elf, across the dance floor with with ex, out of a fair ground ride when I was 4, off some scaffolding into some netting on stage where I hung upside down with my pants flashing.........

I fall a lot.

..oh and recently down the stairs hurting myself badly and twisting my ankle.

All without booze.

Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ July 3 2009, 3:14 PM BST

Tripping over my own feet, off stilts, out of a window on the ground floor, off the roof of a shed, down a sand dune, in the middle of the road, on ice, in a skate rink, down a hill, into a stream, into a fountain, off someones back, off a horse, off a donkey, into a display of ketchup, into the arms of a department store elf, across the dance floor with with ex, out of a fair ground ride when I was 4, off some scaffolding into some netting on stage where I hung upside down with my pants flashing.........

I fall a lot.

Ah, bless you, Roo. I sometimes imagine you as some kind of mad toddler, bouncing around the room all day, until you tire yourself out and have to take a nap.

My first memory was running through the living room screaming my head off with a CLEAN nappy on my head and my Dad begging me to stop. :P

I have come a long way since last week.

My younger brother spent most of his early years running head-first into coffee tables and needing stitches. I imagine you were the same, Roo. :)

I was more or less just a pain in the bum. My fave game was "Climb Daddy". When he was asleep in the chair, I would climb to the top of the chair and stab him in the back of the head with a pen. :D

I was an AMAZING child!

So Ruby, we have even more in common! :D

Though surely I'm the only person who needed stitches after the lid of a baked bean tin rolled across their head and sliced off their finger tips with a corned beef tin?

I'm not too bad but my daughter who is now 15 has fallen over thin air more times than I can mention since she was about 3.

I was a bit gangly as a child, so I think that's what caused it then.

Now I think it's footwear. Ieven fell down the stairs when pregnant because I was wearing flip flops.

I fell over in Covent Garden and just kinda sat there afterwards while Dannyjb1 and Otterfox were trying not to laugh.

Stupidest falling over I've had was on a big hill behind a friend's house. We were walking and I fell over, with no clue of how. Elliot was on the phone and turned round, and I was on the floor in hysterics. To this day, none of us have a clue what happened!

I'm always falling over but I have a suspicion I've been suffering from vertigo since my teens. I once climbed onto a flat roof (about 10 foot high) and suddenly got so dizzy and confused I had to lie down on the roof. I felt like Flight 19 over the Bermuda Triangle. The sky was below me. It was pretty unnerving.

In a observation tower in Vancouver, although I was on concrete, the tower felt as if it was falling. Even looking at pictures from high vantage points make me sweat.

The only thing I haven't fallen into is love.

Mt Mum;s dog, Alfie. Very stupid, but happy. An I once fell in to rapids trying to get back a stick that was shaped like a gun. I almaost died in Wales. Don't think I could have lived with that.

Share this page